


Since We Were Eighteen

by just_let_me_be



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, El and Louis are engaged, Harry and Louis past relationship, Harry and Louis present relationship, Louis may still be madly in love with the curly haired boy, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, a smidgen of Niam, and a wedding, because i like that shit, because who doesn't like weddings, for now, here's to a new story, hope you all like this fic, there's a bachelor party, there's a happy ending, though Harry is a little reluctant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-03-04 18:22:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3080675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_let_me_be/pseuds/just_let_me_be
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been six years since Louis had seen him, but less than six hours since the boy had crossed his mind. Now he stands with his future bride and his heart entirely belonging to a different person.<br/>When Louis had proposed it had been a total misunderstanding. He didn't actually want to get married. At least not to his girlfriend. Not when his heart was still stuck in the past with a boy who had taken Louis' heart the moment they met.<br/>They say true love conquers all, but is it enough to repair six years of damage? Will Louis be forced to chose yet again where his heart should lie? Or will true love be the one thing he does right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there! I just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! and what better way to start off the new year than with a new story. I've been writing this for a while by hand and decided it was now or never to put it up! This like all others is a work of fiction and in no way represents the boys in their personal lives, and similarities is purely coincidental.  
> Also, this story takes place in Texas. it was just easier for me to write that because I'm from there. So, just picture them like they are British accents included but in Texas.  
> The school mentioned does not exist at all. It's all in my head, scary place that.  
> This story was inspired by the boy's song Eighteen. Anybody else feel like that is LouisandHarry's song??  
> All mistakes are mine i suck at editing!  
> Anyways enough rambling now on to the first chapter!!

Louis wasn’t exactly sure when he decided to have an engagement party. Truth be told he wasn’t even sure when he had wanted an engagement party. But alas here he stood in the middle of a crowded club surrounded by most of his friends. His arm wrapped around his beautiful bride to be, Eleanor’s waist as she chatted with one of her friends. 

He took a look around. Bodies moved to the beat and waitresses carried drinks above the writhing bodies. He was happy. Or as close to being happy with the doubt that had inadvertently bedded its self in his stomach. He hadn’t thought the about proposing beforehand. Not when he had first met her, not a year into the relationship, hell not even two months ago. She’d really just been there to help him get over someone else. Then one date turned into two and the rest was history.

It’d been three years since they had met. He hadn’t thought it through yet, the engagement part. It was an impulse buy. A ‘maybe one day it will happen’ buy. But then El had been cleaning out his closet-for what Louis still had no idea- and found the little blue box. She’d freaked out and the only thing that Louis could think to do was drop to one knee. The words were pouring out of his mouth before he had the chance to choke them back. Louis had never had issues with word vomit until that moment.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love her. Because he did. He loved her with all his heart, but it was more like how he love his little sisters rather than a lover. He spent his days feeling more like her best friend than her boyfriend-fiancé- and that wasn’t right. But he knew that this was the better option. He loved her, she loved him. Why not do it? They made each other happy didn’t they? 

Now here he stood, half drank beer in his hands and El still chatting away with a friend. The packet of cigarettes burn in his back pocket. He’d promised himself─ or El really─ that he’d quit. He hadn’t exactly found the time or the heart to do so.

“Hey man! Congrats!” A familiar voice called out from behind Louis. For the first time that night Louis felt a genuine smile tug across his lips.

“Zayn, my man!” Louis yelled as he removed his arm from around El’s back. He slapped his hand into the other boy’s, pulling him in for a hug. Zayn’s familiar cologne wafted into Louis’ nostrils and some of the tension left Louis’ body. 

“How are you holding up?” Zayn asked quietly so that only Louis could hear.

Zayn had been his best friend since they were kids. Known each other for so long that they could write full length novels about each other. He was the only person that knew Louis inside and out. The only one who had seen him at his absolute worst and absolute best. He was Louis’ keeper of secrets, not even Eleanor knew everything about him. 

“About as well as you’d think.”

Zayn nodded, brown eyes understanding.

Louis took the moment to say hello to Zayn’s girlfriend Perrie. She kissed his cheek, she was also aware of Louis’ past having met Zayn just after their last year in high school. He was thankful that they had managed to stay together for the last five years. Though he’d much rather they be at her and Zayn’s engagement party than his. 

“Pez, babe you look stunning.”

Her big eyes lit up as she smiled before pulling Louis into a spine crushing hug.

“Aw, Lou-Bear you clean up nice too.”

He hid a smirk into her blonde hair.

“Where is Liam? He not coming or what?” Louis asked glancing around looking for the other brown-eyed boy. 

“Uh, yeah he’s going to be late. He’s bringing a date tonight. Said it was a surprise,” Zayn said as he hugged El.

“Liam’s met someone? That’s so nice. He always seems so lonely.” El commented from her place in Zayn’s arms.

“Yeah, I think it’s nice too. I hate to think of him all by himself all the time,” Perrie added.

They stand around and talk for a while as the music becomes dancier. The girls run off to dance leaving the boys behind in their wake. Louis was getting him and Zayn a refill when a familiar head of bleached blonde hair caught his eye. For just a split second, leaving Louis a little bit rattled. _It can’t be, there’s no way_. He heads back to where Zayn was standing, broad shoulders blocking part of his body. _Liam_.

“Payno!” Louis shouts. 

Liam turns at the sound of his nickname. His big brown puppy dog eyes filled with mirth, his smile bright. 

“Tommo!” he shouted back wrapping his Louis up in a bear hug. He was much different than the scrawny kid he’d met when they had started university. His floppy skater boy hair was now a tight fade with just a hint at the top of his head enough to flop just above his eyes. The then undefined muscles now stood out against his dress shirt. More defined since he had taken up working out all the time and boxing. 

“So, who’s the mystery date dude?” Zayn asked, clamping Liam on the back.

Liam smiles a shy smile. “In the bathroom actually. One of his friends came with him tonight too. Hope you don’t mind.”

Louis smiled and shook his head. “Nah, man the more the merrier.”

It is a few more minutes before Louis spots the head of blonde hair again. _Dude, what the fuck?_ This time the head was headed in Louis’ direction. _No, no. No! No!_ The boy didn’t seem to have noticed Louis but the familiar blue eyes seemed to be searching for someone. The boy looks in their direction and his eyes grow a tad bit wider. He makes his way through the crowed to them. It isn’t until he’s a few feet from them that he finally notices Louis, clear as freaking day. The smile drops from his face, the blue darkening just a bit.

“Babe,” Liam call.

_Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck._

Liam sees the expression on the other boys face. “Love, what’s wrong?”

The boy turns his gaze to Liam, a forced smile on his lips.

“Nothing.” His Irish accent slipped through and suddenly Louis was transported back to a past time. 

A past life, when he wore colorful pants and an unhealthy amount of stripes. Back when Zayn had a blond streak in his hair. When guitar music filled the silence around him and his life was dominated by green eyes and unruly brown curls.

“Louis, I want you to meet-“

“Niall.” Louis breathed.

“I didn’t know it was your party.” Is all Niall says. 

Louis glances at Liam, only to see a confused expression etched into his kind features.

“Do you two know each other?” Liam finally gets out.

“Once upon a time,” Niall answers. “Where’s Zayn.”

Louis nodded in the direction of Perrie. Niall brushes past him and Louis is left with a dull pain in his chest. He looks to Liam, whose brows are raised a bit. 

“I’m going to follow him.”

Louis nodded. Breath still lodged in his throat.

“Wait you said he was bringing a friend. Do you know their name?” 

Liam shrugged. “Not entirely sure. I think his name is Henry or Harvey.”

Louis’ heart sinks at that moment because Henry sounds a lot like─ he can’t even bring himself to think of the name.

_Shit._

Niall avoids talking to Louis instead opting to get Liam out onto the floor to dirty dance as much as possible. Even only talking to Perrie and Zayn. Louis tries not to take it personally but how could he not. 

As more alcohol flowed freely the drunken feeling seemed to loosen the tightness in Louis’ chest. He had his arms wrapped around El’s waist as they danced to Beyonce’s, _Drunk in Love._ El’s fingers are wrapped snuggly in the back of his hair as she sings softly in his ear. His mind goes back to that place from earlier when another dark haired love would sing to him. He kisses her neck once if only to break the sad memories. He glances up and suddenly it’s not a memory anymore. He sees those green eyes and wild curls. The same ones that has haunted his dreams for the last six years.

_Drunk in love_

He blinks once.

_We be all night_

The girl in front of him grinds down.

 _It’s just some girl,_ Louis thinks.

Their eyes still locked. Green on blue. The other licks his lips. Louis swallows.

_We be all night_

Louis watches as he bends his head down. The girl lifting her head up and kisses his neck.

_Love, love_

Louis squeezes El’s waist as something builds up inside of him. He watches the boy run a hand through his hair, curls flailing, before he turned on his heel and left. 

“I’ll be right back,” Louis said before chasing after him.

He moves in between people, avoiding bumping people’s drinks on his good shirt. It’s bad enough he’s going home smelling like sweat and smoke, he’d really rather not have the smell of tequila and orange juice haunting him tonight. He makes it to the door unscathed and the air is warm on his face. Houston in the middle of October was always his favorite. The normal fresh air though was tented with the smell of vomit and alcohol. Louis wrinkled his nose, eyes intent on finding the boy. _His boy._

“What are you doing?” 

_Oh fuck._

Louis breath caught. There was no denying it now that was defiantly him. It had been so long since he had heard that sound. It felt like a missing part of him had been returned and he was able to fully breathe. His voice was a bit different though, deeper, older, huskier, _sexier_. Louis took a deep breath.

“Harry.”

The boy’s, well he wasn’t a boy, not anymore, eyes darkened. “I said what are you doing?”

Louis shrugs. “I’m not entirely sure.” 

Harry runs his fingers through his hair again.

“I didn’t know it was your party,” he finally says.

Louis nods once. “I know. Niall told me.”

“I wouldn’t have come if I had known.”

_Do I deserve that?_

“Why not?”

Harry gives and incredulous look. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? Seriously?”

Louis rubs at the back of his neck and shrugs. 

“Seriously,” Harry says again. Eyes wide, twice their normal size. “Fifteen years we have known each other. For four of those years we were together. And one morning I wake up only to find you gone. The bed still imprinted with the shape of your body. The pillow still with the lingering smell of your shampoo. You didn’t even bother to say goodbye. You just up and left. I had to find out from Zayn that you left for school. You didn’t even tell me. Now you stand there asking me why? _Why?_ No, fuck you. _Fuck you_ Louis Tomlinson.” Harry shakes his head and turns on his heel to leave.

Louis is left alone, heart racing, mouth dry and an unbearable amount of shame and guilt running through his veins. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes, sits on the curb and lights it. He inhales and his minds slowly drifts back to a past life.

 

*** 

“Babe! I’m here!” Louis calls out to the empty flat. 

Harry and his mom had moved into a two bed room flat after Harry’s sister had gone off to college. She had remarried just a few months ago and was currently on her honey moon. Louis and Harry had free reign of the flat. He set the bottle of wine down on the table, kicking his shoes off next to Harry’s. The acceptance letter he’s received a week ago heavy in his back pocket. 

He was going to tell Harry today, he just wasn’t sure how. The school he’d been desperately trying to get into finally had an opening. Granit it was two thousand miles away. In New freaking York. But it was Louis’ dream school. And he got in. Louis got in! He’d sent in his audition tape and portfolio well before the due and he got in. His mom had freaked as Louis numbly opened the letter. 

_Dear Louis Tomlinson, on behalf of The Maureen O’Hara School of Art and Acting we are honored to accept your application. Early term begins in August. Please be at orientation by ten am on Monday, August 11th. Congratulations and we hope that you achieve everything you set out to accomplish._

He left for the airport in the morning, it was now or never. The ball that had somehow formed in his stomach between the local grocery store and the flat tightened. He was dreading it though, to say goodbye was the hardest thing he’d have to do.

He walked down the hall where he could hear Harry’s shower going. The smell of water and Harry’s shower gel filled the air and his nostrils. 

“Babe?” Louis calls.

“Well it sure as hell isn’t your mom,” Harry calls back.

Louis rolls his eyes. “Why would my mom be here? She has her own house.” He pulls open the shower door. 

Harry’s standing under the hat water, steam billowing up around him. His long nimble fingers combing out the soap from his curls. Water glistens off his pale skin, the more defined muscles of his biceps bulge and Louis has to take a second to swallow. _How do you say goodbye to that?_ He lets his gaze travel lower and lover taking in all of Harry. 

“Well, you can either let all the warm air out or you can get in here and join me.”

Louis doesn’t even hesitate to take his clothes off, they hit the floor and his hands are in Harry hair instantly. Their mouths a tangle of water and heat. Harry’s nails drag down his back and Louis hisses from the sting. That was sure to leave a mark. Louis slotted his leg in between Harry’s thighs. Their bodies gliding together like skates on ice. Louis can feel Harry’s growing erection with each thrust of his hips. Harry’s hand nudges down farther, ghosting over his hole. Louis breath hitches. He tugs Harry’s wet curls just as Harry slips a finger inside him.

“Harry,” he gasps.

Harry’s lips graze his ear. “Turn around love.” His voice is deep and gravely. Like syrup, Louis would like to lick syrup off of Harry.

Louis turns, palms pressed against the tiled wall. All he can hear is the sound of Harry breathing, deep and loud. He can feel Harry’s fingers, slick with what Louis assumes is bath gel, quickly working him open more than he already was. He lets out string of curses just as Harry pushes through the first ring of muscle. Harry’s mouth was like fire on Louis’ skin. Open mouthed kisses down his shoulder as Harry’s hips spluttered back and forth. Louis’ fingers clawing at the slippery tiled wall. His dick painfully hard. Harry’s hands gripped at Louis waist and Louis could feel the pull at his stomach. One of Harry’s big hands wrapping around his length. He pulls once. Twice. Louis’ body jerks once as he comes. All evidence going down the drain along with the soap suds. Harry hips snapped one more time before he grunts and Louis can feel him come inside of him.

Louis turns around back pressed to the wall. “Hi.” Is all he has the energy to say. 

“Hi, yourself.”

Harry takes the wash cloth and cleans both of them off. Louis climbs out grabbing two towels for them to dry off with. He wipes the condensation from the bathroom mirror. He has a love bite on his neck and his eyes are bright with lust and love. He bends down and picks up his brightly colored jeans and tucks them under his arm. He makes his way to Harry’s bed room. Tosses the pants onto the bed and opens a drawer in favor of one of Harry’s jogging pants. 

He joins Harry in the kitchen ignoring the fact that Harry is still very much naked. 

“You hungry? Dinner’s in the oven,” Harry says, placing a tender kiss to Louis’ shoulder. 

“Good cuz’ I’m starving.” 

They sit down at the kitchen table an hour later as Harry shovels lasagna on to two plates. Louis pours both of them some wine and they sit and eat. He completely forgets about leaving because all that matters at the moment is Harry. And if he misses his flight in the morning because he’s tangled up with Harry, maybe it won’t be such a bad thing.  
They are nearly half asleep and Louis starts to wonder whether it is a bad thing. His eyes close and dreads the morning sun.

The sound of his alarm jolts him awake. He snatches his phone up and hits the snooze button. He turns to look at Harry, curled up like a kitten, hair covering his face and the soft sound of snores escaping his lips. God it would be so easy just to turn his head and go back to sleep. The school would still be there in a day or in a year. No. This was his chance to follow his dreams. Zayn would join him later when the full semester started. Harry would still have Niall and they could video chat and text just like normal. 

_Just how do I say goodbye?_

A calm voice in the back of his head replied with a _you don’t_. That wasn’t much help. 

He quickly changes into his clothes from yesterday, careful not to wake Harry. He’s almost out the bedroom door. When he decides the only thing he can do is write Harry a letter. Telling him how much he loved him and how much he’d miss him. That no matter what Harry was his most important thing. That in a year they could both be together at college. Louis studying drama and Harry studying music. This could work. He signs with a _call when you get this. Love always, Lou._ Then he’s out the door to meet his mom at the airport

 

***

Louis stubs out his cigarette and heads back inside. El is off dancing with Perrie and Zayn is hovering in a corner with Liam. From the way El is dancing he can tell she’s beyond drunk.

“Hey, I think we are going to head out,” Louis says over the loud music.

Zayn nods, understanding without the explanation. 

Louis grabs El, giving Perrie a kiss goodbye and heads out the club doors. She giggles in his ear.

“Aw Louuieee. I loveee youuuu,” she sing songs. Her breath smells of the cocktails she’d been sipping and Louis really doesn’t want to deal with her right now.

“I know you do. C’mon let’s get you home.

That night Louis’ mind swirls around green eyes, curly hair, flights to new places, and a phone call that never came.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYY!! okay so i'm sorry it's taken a bit longer to get this chapter out but here it is. hope you like it!

Louis watched as Harry bent over the counter, pen stuck between his lips. The intense concentration etched into his features. Louis isn’t sure what he’s doing but he’s not going to complain. Not when he has a perfect view of Harry’s curves and the images that comes with that. 

“I can feel you staring at me,” Harry says, mouth still tight around the pen. 

“Well, we do have the place to ourselves. Why don’t you put those lips of yours to good use?” Louis says as he leans back against the counter. A pointed look at Harry’s mouth, then at his own crotch.

Harry squints at him and before removing the pen from his mouth. He walks the two steps it takes to get to Louis, pressing up against him. Their lips meet for just a second, Harry’s hands trailing down his stomach, ghosting over the zipper of his pants. Harry’s mouth moves from Louis’ lips to his neck. Louis’ eyes close and all he can feel is Harry’s fingers at his zipper.

“Louis! Lou!”

_Huh? Wait. Wait that’s not… Harry? That’s not Harry’s voice. That’s─_

Louis opens his eyes to the light brown color of his walls. It had been a month and Louis still couldn’t get away from his thoughts and dreams, memories really. His bachelor party was looming overhead. Days, really. The wedding just behind that. He’d hung out with Niall though more often. Ever since he and Liam had officially started dating. Louis is still trying to remember when Niall had started liking the same sex. Then again there had been a lot that could happen in the span of five years. Though in the beginning it had been tough. Being with Niall but not Harry at the same time. He’d forgotten how much he’d missed the blonde headed boy, with his loud laugh and sometimes vulgar language. He’d missed him more than he probably had the right to. Not nearly as much as he had missed Harry though.

He still remembers waiting by his phone, making sure the volume was at its max. After his flight and another four hours of just staring at his phone, there had been nothing. Not a call, not a text, hell there hadn’t even been an email. Louis knows he should have called Harry himself but he’d been too hurt to think about it. By the time he’d gained enough courage to even pull up Harry’s contact it had been too late. He’d gotten Harry’s voice mail again and again and that was that. 

It was a shame though really. They had been so good together, not just him and Harry but all of them. Zayn and Niall being the off set to Harry and Louis. They had been the four best of friends. Always together, places set at tables in case they stayed for dinner. Clothes ending up in each- others laundry to the point where everyone claimed everything as shared. Sometimes while they were hanging out now Louis felt like Liam would have fit right in with their group. Even on the slight chance that Harry would do more than barely acknowledge Louis presence on the rare occasions that he came with Niall.

“Babe!” Eleanor’s voice called again.

He looked up from where he’d been staring at the patterns on the blanket. She really was beautiful. Standing there with her dark hair pulled back into a tight bun, skinny jeans that made her legs look a mile long and her eyes lined with just the right amount of make up to make them pop. Her slender hand was placed on her hip, a frown growing on her pink lips.

“Sorry, love. What is it?”

“I said have you seen my Michael Kors bag? The white and gold one. Perrie wants to borrow it for Miami and I can’t seem to find it anywhere.” 

“It’s in the back of the closet behind my suit case.”

“Thank you.” She smiles and pulls his face in and kisses him. “I love you husband.”

_Husband_. He liked the sound of that. Just not so positive about it coming from her mouth. 

“You’re welcome sunshine.”

She doesn’t seem to acknowledge that he didn’t say I love you back or that he didn’t call her wife. 

“Don’t forget your flight leaves at eight in the morning. You should get there about noon if all goes as planned. I won’t be here my flight leaves at six.”

Louis smiles at her. “Liam’s picking me up so I’ve got like no chance of sleeping in.”

She laughs at him and runs her fingers through his hair. “Well you don’t call him the daddy of the group for nothing.”

“That’s true.”

 

***

He hears the honk from Liam’s car before his alarm goes off. He rolls over as flashbacks of college run through his mind. Rooming with Liam had probably been the best and worst decision of his life. Never got to sleep in but also was never late. The knock at the door brings him back to the present.

_Right plane to catch_.

He opens the door to a bright and cheery faced Liam. He holds a Starbucks cup of hot tea and hands it over to Louis.

“You’re entirely too chipper this morning.” Louis grumbles.

“I haven’t even spoken and why aren’t you dressed?”

“Because I still have a freaking hour to sleep!”

Liam shakes his head. “No you don’t. Didn’t you get my message, we have to get Zayn too.”

Louis lets his head fall back as he exhales dramatically. “Fuck, okay, give me a second.” He flicks Liam on the nose as the bright morning sun blinds him. 

They pull up to Zayn’s and Louis almost has a heart attack. Leaning against Zayn’s front porch is none other than Harry Styles himself. Zayn comes fling out of the front door. Bags slung across his shoulder, Niall right behind him. Harry flicks down his sunglasses and bends to pick up a bag from the ground. 

_What is happening?_

Louis and Liam jump out and help put the bags into the back of the car. He managed to grab Zayn by his t shit, pulling him to the side. 

“What the fuck dude?” he asks, voice pitched low. 

“Liam invited him since Stan can’t come with us. Had no idea till they showed up here last night. Figured you knew already.”

Louis shakes his head and climbs back into the car. He tries not to glance back at Harry although he can see him in the refection of the mirror. His head is pressed against the window and Louis isn’t positive but he thinks Harry is watching him too.

The plane ride from Houston to Las Vegas is four hours with the time difference. Four hours of sitting and listening to Harry have a conversation with Niall and Liam. Four hours of listening to him laugh at Niall’s jokes like he used to laugh at Louis’. He keeps wanting to reach out and touch. Touch his face. Touch his mouth, his hair. Just everything. He can’t though and it hurts. Change, he wants it to change. 

They landed and Louis was surprised to find that it was cooler than expected. A dry cold though, not entirely what he was expecting. Mid-fifties, low sixties. Decent weather to just walk around and enjoy the strip. 

Landing in the middle of the day, Louis could only make out a few of the casinos. MGM, the pyramid where Chris Angel's shows are, but mostly just mountain and desert. It truly was beautiful. He heard Liam laugh as they walked through McCarran International Airport. Slot machines were everywhere. 

They took the shuttle from the airport to a car rental place where Liam had rented a sedan for the five days they where there. It was awkward sitting in between Zayn and Harry. There was a decent amount of room in the car but Louis still felt it was too small, too close. He could smell Harry's cologne mixed with the familiar smell of his detergent. If he closed his eyes he could almost see Harry's mom doing the laundry when they were kids.

They pulled into the parking garage for the Bellagio Hotel and Casino. 

"There's no way we are staying here." Louis said as they made their way to the check in desk.

"Oh, yes we are." Zayn and Liam said in unison.

The look on Zayn's face gave Louis the feeling that he should shut up and go with it.

_Well, if Liam's insisting. Might as well._

He glances up at the intricate designs on the ceiling. There are hundreds of people billowing about. The light glares off of the marble flooring. There’s a faint smell of alcohol in the air. Designer stores surround him. Dior, Capri, Fendi, Chanel, the list went on and on. He was seriously considering whether or not Liam was a secret millionaire or something. It was honestly mesmerizing. 

Liam came back with their room keys in hand. “Niall is with me. Zayn you have a room to yourself because none of us can handle your snoring. That means Harry and Louis are bunking together.”

Louis can feel the color drain from his face because no, this cannot be fucking happening. He can’t even bring himself to turn to Harry. God, why the hell hadn’t they told Liam that the boy Louis had been with was Harry.

_I’m an idiot. That’s why, I’m a fucking idiot._

“Actually why don’t I bunk with Lou. We’ve bunked plenty of times.” Zayn offers.

“Nonsense.” Liam said.

“Babe,” Niall interruptes.

“Li really it’s okay.” Zayn tried.

“Boys, I’m sure that Louis and I can survive a few nights in the same room together. After all it wouldn’t be the first time, right?” Harry said, a pointed look in Louis direction.

What little blood that remained in Louis face rushed to his cheeks. Liam gave Harry a slightly confused look at the emphasis- Harry had put on the words. They really needed to tell Liam and by they, Louis meant Niall.

Liam handed Louis the keycard and they make their way to the elevator for guest only. Louis swallows hard. His pulse pounding in his ears. His skin on edge from where he is pressed against Harry’s side. Damn, he wants to reach out and wrap his arm around his waist. If only to be swallowed up by Harry’s warmth and height. Just to feel the familiar sense of freedom and home. To look up into those green eyes and let the look take him under, like a whirlpool of water. Matching Harry’s breath with his own. Feeling that soft contours of Harry’s body beneath his own finger tips. He missed him so much. 

He opened the door to their room and felt his jaw drop. It was gorgeous. Blue and grey patterned carpet lined the room, a giant queen sized bed was to the left complete with fluffy blue and while pillows. Two chairs lined the back wall. A giant window looked out over the strip. Louis was a little dazed.

“Fuck,” Louis says in awe. He glances around the room taking everything in. It’s only then that he notices that there is only one bed. “Fuck.”

 

A little while later they are sitting in some bar Liam and managed to find and dragged them to. Zayn’s sat close to Louis, a comforting arm placed around his shoulder. Louis can feel a slight buzz going on as he sips at his drink. He nuzzles in closer to his best friend, enjoying the warmth in his veins and the normalcy of everything. This he can do, getting drunk with Zayn at some sleazy bar to over played pop music that really just makes him want to dance. He’s thinking about pulling Zayn out onto the packed dance floor when a voice distracts him.

“Okay, Lou-Bear,” Liam calls.

Louis tenses at the sound of his nick name and glances at Harry. Whose brows are raised in an almost amused way, a semi-shocked look on his face.  
“Really?” he mouths at Louis, mouth curving into a would be grin.

Louis’ mind flies once again to that different time. To the first time Harry had met his family years before they had started dating and his mother had let the pet name slip.  
 _“Oh, I am so calling you that from now on,” Harry had joked._

_“You better not. I’ll deny you as my best friend and future lover.”_

_Harry had pouted at that and Louis leaned over and kissed his cheek._

_“Oh, don’t be like that. You know you’re my favorite and of course you can call me that. But no one else. If Zayn or Niall even thinks about calling me that, it’s a free punch to the nuts. You and only you have permission to let those words slip from your mouth. Got it?”_

_Harry smiled so hard that his dimple popped out. “Got it.”_

Louis shrugged at Harry as if saying oh well. Something in Harry’s eyes darkened. 

A pretty girl came up to Liam then carrying a tray of brightly colored shot glasses balancing on her perfectly manicured hands.

“To the last weekend of you being free. May you and El have a wonderful life ahead of you. I love you dude.” Liam toasted before knocking back a shot.

Harry grabbed one and lifted it. “I can honestly say I never thought I’d see you getting married to a _girl_ like El. But here’s to you having an interesting life together.” If it had been anyone but Harry saying the words Louis might not have picked up on the undertones of the toast. He watched as Harry knocked back the bright pink shot and ran a hand through his matted hair. 

Louis chose to ignore it. 

“I wanna dance. Zayn you up for it?” Harry says.

Zayn nods and squeezes Louis shoulder. The ever present rock in Louis’ life.

Liam orders another round and it’s no time before the buzzed feeling is a full on drunk feeling. He dances with everyone for a bit before falling onto one of the couches where they were seated. Liam following suit. .

“Excuse me love,” Liam calls to the girl again. “Can we get another round for my friend here? He’s getting married next week.”

The girl nods and congratulates Louis before heading back to the bar.

“Li, I don’t think I could handle another round,” Louis says from his position on the couch.

At some point Niall had joined them and Louis hadn’t realized until he snorted. “Since when Tommo? You’re like the king of shots. And hangovers.”

Liam glances at Niall. “Tommo?”

Niall opens his mouth to answer but Liam cuts him off.

“I thought only Zayn called you that?”

 

Louis finds himself shrugging again. Too tired and drunk to explain to Liam.

“Actually, I gave him the nick name,” Niall answers.

“Okay, I got that you all kinda knew each other when you had the party. But how well do you guys know each other. Because the longer we hang out the more I feel like you four  
did more than go to school together.”

“Think you should take this one Ni,” Louis says as he gets up to head back to the bar.

He gives them a few moments before he returns. Liam’s sitting next to Niall, chin resting on his palm. He looks at Louis with a sad look, it’s mixed with a judgmental undertone that only Liam Payne can have.

“Don’t judge me.” Louis says, voice dark. 

“I’m not.”

“Really because that look on your face says otherwise.”

“Louis I’m not. Judging you. You made a decision that was right for you.”

Louis heart sinks into his stomach. It really wasn’t like he wanted to leave and if he could go back he would stay. He would stay and figure out something else out, but he’d get to keep Harry. He’d get to keep Harry and he’d be happy. Maybe. Possibly.

He sighs and glances at his watch. 

_Who wears watches anymore?_

“It’s almost three. We should get back if we are going to survive hanging around Vegas tomorrow.”

Liam nods.

“Where’s Zee and Haz?” Niall asks.

“Don’t know babe. They will find their way back. Zayn always does.” Liam puts an arm around him. “Besides the Bellagio is a giant hotel with a crown on the top and a giant water fountain. Can’t miss it.”

Louis isn’t sure what time it is when Harry comes into the room. He only registers the dip of the bed and the sudden warmth when Harry’s arms wrapped around him. Louis held his breath for a fraction of a second. Harry’s arms stay though as Louis lets out a breath. He lets himself relax into Harry’s embrace. Hot breath on his neck. Harry slots a leg in between Louis’. In the morning Louis might regret it. He’s absolutely positive Harry will but in this exact moment there is nothing in the entire world that Louis wants more. In this exact moment he has Harry. Pressed against him, skin to skin, closer than they have been in years.

_I am so fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i'm hoping i can get the next chapter to you guys sooner. Bear with me! Thank You soo much for reading. Kudos, Comments are my life but not as much as you guys reading and liking this story!! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people :) how is everyone?? sorry for taking so long on these updates. Everything is pretty hectic right now with school and work. plus anyone ever hand written something and taken a second look and was like what am i thinking??? yeahh thats also happening to me. thank you for bearing with me!! you are the best everrrrrrr!!!!!!

Chapter Three  
The sun beats down on Louis and the guys as they slide into a booth at one of the diners outside of the strip. Zayn lets his head rest against Liam’s shoulder as Louis massages his own temples. Harry sits opposite him, he doesn’t look much better than the rest of them. 

“I am death,” Zayn moans. 

“Shut up death,” Niall says, pushing Zayn off of Liam just to claim him for himself. 

Louis stifles a laugh at them before saying, “Knock it off the both of you.”

The retort that must have been on Niall’s tongue dies the moment their waitress approaches.

“Hello boys, I’m Martha and I will be your waitress this morning. What can I get for you?” Her face is slightly lined and her greying red hair is tied up in a tight bun.

“Coffee,” They answer in unison. 

“Rough night?” she asks.

“My head feels like the Macey’s Thanksgiving Day parade is having rehearsals inside of it,” Zayn comments, head lying flat on the hard table. “Who ever said bachelor parties in Vegas were the shit lied.”

She smiles at them, “Whose getting married?”

Four sets of pointer fingers all move to Louis’ direction and he shrugs. 

“I have the perfect thing for you guys.” She scribbles something on her notepad and turns to walk off.

Harry leans back and flicks his sunglasses down over his eyes. Louis takes this moment to study him. The way his shoulders slouch slightly from a lack of sleep. His curls are still damp from the shower he had taken this morning. This morning. This morning when Louis and Harry had woken up tangled around each other, Harry’s hair tickling Louis’ mouth. Even with Harry being bigger he still managed to be the little spoon. It had been a strange awakening, neither one of them said anything, Louis opting to avoid any kind of talking went straight to the shower to wash off the grime of the club. He’d waited for Harry to take his and then they made their way to meet the boys in the lobby. Still not mentioning their wake up. 

A few minutes later Martha appeared with five coffee cups balancing on a try in her hand. She sat them in front of them and said, “Food will be ready in about five.”

“Thank you,” Liam says, ever the polite one.

They sit for a while in silence just sipping at their coffees. Louis scrunches his face at the taste of his, he’d prefer it to be tea but beggars can’t be choosers, right? The sun is warm on his face and the smell of freshly cooked eggs makes his stomach grumble. He can feel Zayn’s leg tucked underneath his own now that he is sitting beside him. Something in the touch makes the dizziness fade a bit almost like it’s grounding him. He takes another sip, savoring the sweetness as it warms his throat and clears his foggy mind. 

“Here you go boys.” Martha says, setting down a giant tray holding five plates on it. 

She sets a plate down in front of each of them, piled on with fried eggs, sausage and bacon. A stack of pancakes sit on a plate all their own along with dry toast. Louis smiles at her.

“There you go kiddos. This should take care of any lingering alcohol in your systems.”

“Thanks you so much,” Louis says, reaching out to grab a pancake with his fork.

“No, problem. You boys have a fun time. Be safe.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” They reply.

She leaves them to dig in. For a good minuet the only sound is that of knives and forks scratching porcelain plates and smacking. Louis tries some of the sausage but the taste makes his already unsettled stomach churn. He sticks with the pancakes and eggs. His foot catches Harry’s when he moves to adjust his position. Harry pulls back a bit and Louis tries not to let it bother him too much. 

“So, fellas. What’s on the agenda today?” Louis asks.

“Well,” Liam begins. “Figured we could walk the strip in the day. Find some trinkets to bring back to the families. Then later tonight Niall wanted us to casino hop, maybe catch the fountain in front of the Bellagio.” 

Louis nods. “Sounds like a plan.”

They take their time finishing up their food, keeping up light conversation. Heads still hurting a bit. Martha comes back to clear the table. She refuses to let Liam pay when he asks for the check.

“It’s on the house. Consider it an early wedding gift.”

Louis smiles and thanks her with a hug. “We will be sure to come back as see you before we go.”

She laughs and pats his chest. “Well, I’m here all week seven till five.”

They bid her good day and step out into the blinding sun.

None of them felt entirely up to do much more than walk around and enjoy the day. Harry walks next to Louis as they enjoy the sights. Mountains decorate the background of their walk. The cool air wafts over Louis’ face bringing with it the smell of Harry’s skin. He tries not to pay too much attention to the fact that all he would really have to do is slightly move his hand and he could brush Harry’s arm. Feel the smooth, soft skin under the pads of his fingers. He balled his hands into fists in order to resist the act. 

They come to a stop in front of a trinkets store. “I told Perrie that I would get her something special,” Zayn says, turning into the stop.

Liam tugs Niall by his hand to follow. “C’mon I have to get something for Ruth or she will never let me forget it.”

Louis took a glance at Harry who shrugged and nodded in the direction of the door. Inside there’s thousands of pieces of jewelry, some hand made some not, but all immaculately created. Louis lets his fingers dance over a golden band like his little sister used to where. Bangles, she had called them. Some of the necklaces were a bit gaudy for Eleanor’s taste but he still wanted to get her something. 

“What exactly are you looking for?” Niall asks, as he examines a blue glass blown heart.

Zayn shrugs. “No idea. Just something that says Perrie. Nothing to blingly or sparkly.” He eyes a diamond crusted bracelet with disdain. “You know something simple.”

“She’s still into that whole bohemian flower child thing right.” Harry asks from somewhere in the back.

“Course,” answers Louis.

Harry makes his way back to where they are standing, he’s wearing a flower crown over his curls so that they frame his face like a halo and Louis almost forgets how to even breathe. He had a necklace dangling from his hand.

“How about this?” He held up a thin gold chain, hanging from it was a small white and pink daisy. 

“Dude,” Zayn says coming closer. He takes it into his smaller hand and examines it. “It’s perfect.”

Harry gives him a soft smile, dimples just barely popping out. He glances up and catches Louis’ eye. He shrugs one shoulder and looks back at Zayn. They spend a few more minutes in the store before checking out and heading some place new.

By the time the sun goes down behind the casinos and mountains all five boys are loaded down with souvenirs and faces are lightly tented red from the sun. They stopped in to see Martha once more before heading back to their rooms. Liam insists on wearing his new t-shirt that has a name tag sticker with _hello my name is Batman_ written on it. Niall managed to find a shot glass with _drink like you’re Irish_ on it. Zayn found a Bob Marley colored water pipe that he swore was strictly for shisha, Louis knew better. Harry had managed to stumble upon a sale on scarves. 

“Since when do you wear scarves?” Louis had asked.

Harry raised a single perfect brow at him. “Who said they would go around my neck?”

Louis only stared at him questioningly. 

Harry rolled his eyes before taking a dark green one and wrapping it in his curls.

Louis was the only one who hadn’t found something. He felt strange though. He should have been able to find something for Eleanor, something that screamed her. He was marring her for crying out loud. In like four days to be exact. He knew her favorite color, things she liked, things she didn’t. A gift should be a piece of cake. Right? _Right_?

“We going out tonight?” Liam asked as they climbed into the elevator.

“No, I’m still slightly dead from last night. Why don’t we go for a swim instead?” Niall asked, wrapping a hand around Liam’s waist.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” Louis agreed.

They all separated and went their own way once the elevator arrived at their floor. Louis followed Harry to their room. He flops down onto their bed and Harry starts to put up his things. He has his head smothered into a pillow when he feels the bed beside him dip. He removes his head only to see Harry sitting beside him.

“Here,” is all he says, handing Louis a little black box. “Give this to her.”

Louis opens it. Inside is a charm bracelet. Butterflies are attached to little silver rings, pink beads swivel in and out of the matching silver ones. It’s absolutely beautiful, and perfect for Eleanor. He closes it and shakes his head.

“Haz.” He swallows. “Harry, I can’t take this.”

“Yes you can, Lou. I was going to give it to Gemma anyways. Give it to Eleanor. I want you to.” He gets up after that and heads to change into his swim trunks. 

Louis sets the box carefully in his suit case, grabs hid phone and sends a message to El. 

_Hope you’re having a blast. See you soon! XoXo_

They meet the other boys at the pool. Zayn and Niall are playing in the water already. Louis smiling as Zayn fights back successfully dunking Niall under. Louis still remembers when Zayn hated the water and never wanted to go out swimming with them. Liam sits on the edge, feet dangling into the water, his smile is bright and he almost falls in when Niall splashes him for laughing. 

“I thought I was the guest of honor?” Louis calls. “You start the party without me Zaynie?” 

“Not our fault you two take too long!” Liam says.

For that Louis tackles him into the water crating a big splash.

They swim around for what feels like hours. After the day they had it felt wonderful to let their limbs relax in the heated water. He leans his back against one of the water jets, the pulse of the water relaxes the muscles in his back. Between working with his theater kids, planning a wedding, being reconnected with Harry and Niall, Louis hadn’t been able to take a deep solid breath.

“Thinking hard or hardly thinking?” Zayn’s voice said.

Louis turned to look at him. His hair was slicked back and little droplets of water slid down his face. He was always beautiful and even after years of knowing him Louis still thought he was. 

“Hardly thinking.”

“Hardly thinking about what?”

Louis shrugs. “About this wedding.”

Zayn nods. “How’s that going for you?”

“Should probably stop thinking about it.”

“That might save you some heartache love.”

“But speaking of weddings, when are you and Perrie planning on finally tying the knot.”

Zayn shrugged this time. “Waiting for the right time I guess.”

“Well, that time needs to hurry up.”

Zayn laughs. “Can we make it through your wedding first?”

Louis shakes his head and the smile on his face falters just a bit. He watches as Zayn swims over to the others. His mind flashes back, not for the first time, to when the boys in front of him were the most important people to him. They each held a place in his heart. Niall with his kind eyes and lovable laugh, Zayn with his quiet strength, and Harry with his bright eyes and love for everyone. Somehow even now they still hold that part in his heart. Only now there’s Liam, with his undying loyalty. 

His eyes kept straying to Harry. Louis still wanted to reach over and kiss the smile right off those lips. Make him writhe underneath him and beg for more. Like he used to do when they were younger and so in love. 

He still remembers the first time they kissed. Sitting on Harry’s couch, SpongeBob playing softly on the tv. 

“Think anyone ever realized that Mr. Krabs is a cannibal?” Louis asks. “I mean he sells Krabby Patties for goodness sakes.”

“Lou-Bear, I don’t think people care. It’s a kid’s show,” Harry had said from where his head was nestled in Louis lap. 

Louis’ fingers dug into the freshly washed curls on Harry’s head. “Yes, but there are so many more hidden meanings hidden in this show. Much more adult than one would think.”

“Okay, dear, if you say so.” Harry patted Louis’ knee.

Louis had looked down at him then. His eyes were closed and his lips were pulled into a small smile. The damn that had been building up inside of Louis had burst and he bent down and kissed him. Nothing too extreme, just a press of their lips. Harry had jumped slightly at the touch but managed to kiss him back. Running his fingers through Louis hair and grabbing hold at the back.

“What was that for,” Harry had asked.

“Felt like it.”

The sound of someone splashing in the water brings Louis out of his memory. 

“You gonna join in on the fun or are you just going to sit there Tommo?” Niall yells before throwing himself on Louis.

Water rushes past his ears and clears all thought of the wedding and his past from his head. All he can think of is the tightness in his lungs and the feel of Niall’s lifted weight on his body. The wedding can wait. Right now all that mattered were his boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as always let me know what you think! Kudos, Comments, i love seeing the things you guys have to say!! i'll try to have the next chapter up sooner! if i don't see you before. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it always takes me so long to get these chapter up! but here it is! Hope everyone likes it. hope everyone has a safe spring break, i'm just going to sit over here and turn 20 next weekend!!!!! :)

Louis is sitting crossed legged on the bed while Harry gets dressed for their night out casino hopping. He watches as Harry grabs shirt after shirt, holding them up to see if they work, only to throw them back into his bag. 

Louis’ eye catches on one of the many tattoos that litter his skin. “You still have it.”

Harry glances up from his heart covered dress shirt. “Still have what?”

Louis moves to the end of the bed, so that his feet hang off the edge and Harry is almost between his legs. He reaches out to grab Harry’s left arm and lifts it. His finger rests on the tattoo resting on his bicep. It’s a small _Hi_ written in Louis’ own hand writing. 

Harry pulls his arm back. “Oh, that.”

Louis reaches over again and grabs his arm. “Yeah, that.”

Harry shakes his head. “Just because you fell out of love with me doesn’t mean that I fell out of love with you just as quickly.”

Louis’ heart drops. _Out of love? Out of love? Harry thinks I fell out of love with him?_ “Harry, I ─”

Harry cuts him off before he can even get the words out of his mouth. Before he could tell him that there was no way in fucking hell that he could have ever fallen out of love with him. That these past five years have been the hardest years of his life. That yes, he is marrying Eleanor, but that it is in no way what he saw happening in his life. That the person he always saw standing next to him wasn’t a tall beautiful girl, but a tall beautiful boy with dimples. _Fucking hell._

“C’mon they are waiting on us.”

Louis tries to keep his distance from him while they are walking down to meet the boys. He keeps trying to figure out ways to get it through Harry’s head just how much he wants to change what happened, he can’t. He wrote the letter for a reason and it didn’t help. What could he do now?

They started in the Bellagio and made their rounds. Bouncing from slot machine to black jack tables, enjoying the free alcohol that seemed never ending. Louis watched as Harry took selfies with one of the showgirls at Treasure Island. He absolutely did not find it adorable in anyway what so ever. He didn’t. 

He could feel the effects of the bourbon he had been drinking. They had somehow found their way to the other side of the strip where Caesar’s Palace towered over the street. They made their way inside, marble floors glinted back up at them. Harry had disappeared shortly after arriving.

“Where the hell is Harry?” Zayn asked as he looked around at where they were standing. 

“And where did Niall go?” Louis put in. 

A few moments later a boisterous yell came from the direction of the craps table.

“Are you having flashbacks to Grandma Horran and bingo nights too?” Zayn says, giving Louis a side glance.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Louis answered as another yell flowed through the casino again. 

They made their way over to where a group of people were gathered around a long table. Louis could barely make out the bleach blonde hair that was Niall and the curly hair that belonged to Harry. The closer they got to the table the louder the group got. Niall held two dice in his hand, he tossed one at the wall and it landed with a thump. Louis watched as Harry launched himself at Niall who was leaning so far back Louis was sure he’d hurt his spine.

“Cash in! Cash in!” Harry was saying over the roar of the standing crowd.

Niall nodded and grabbed a hand full of chips in his hand. People patted his back and said congrats. He was sure some girl even slipped something into his pocket. Niall glanced at her clearly unimpressed. By the time they caught up with the two boys, Niall’s cheeks were pink and his skin was sweaty. Harry’s arm was wrapped around his shoulder.

“What was that all about?” Zayn asked, nodding in the direction of the crowd.

 

“Niall just kicked fucking ass at craps. Like tripled what he originally had.” Harry answered. 

They made their way to the cash in desk. Niall was practically bouncing on a high. Collecting the cash in his hand and turning to Liam and saying loudly, “I’m rich bitch!” Then he proceeded to throw money onto Liam. 

Louis shook his head and followed them out of the casino. “Anyone know what time it is?”

“Quarter past one,” Liam answers, arm wrapped tightly around Niall’s waist. He seems to be having trouble keeping a wobbling Niall from tossing cash at passerby.

They stop in front of the hotel, people are still scattered around stumbling and hollering. Guys dressed as minions and transformers are walking up and down the street posing for pictures and taking tips. Niall seems to have given up on tossing out money and is leaning heavily on Liam’s side. They stand in front of the hotel’s fountain, and Louis leans his elbows on the cold stone ledge. 

“Our friends are quite something aren’t they?” Harry says from beside him. 

Louis hums and nods. “That Harold they are.” He turns his head and looks at Harry who’s staring wide eyed. “What?”

Harry shakes his head, “You called me Harold.”

Louis rolls his eyes and shrugs. “So, it would seem.” He glances down at the water.

The silence is almost deafening. Louis scratches at the back of his neck. He missed the days when he and Harry could just talk, no preamps, or sneers. Just the two of them. Normal. _Normal._ Now that was a loaded word. What was their normal? Did they still have a normal? Louis shook his head.

“How’s El’s bachelorette party going?” Harry asks, suddenly.

Louis shrugs again. “Haven’t really talked to her.”

Harry snorts. “She’s your fucking fiancé and you don’t even know if she’s having a good time?” Harry’s voice is incredulous. “Why are you even with her?”

Louis turns to look at him. “What the fuck does it matter to you. You don’t give two shits about me.”

“Because it doesn’t make any fucking sense to me. You’re with me for how many years and then, we’re finished and you’re with a girl now.”

“I was with girls before you.” Louis defends himself. “Besides, it’s none of your fucking business who I fuck, now is it? I didn’t say anything to you about having other boyfriends. You and that Nick guy.”

Harry is silent for a second. His brows are furrowed. “How did you know about Nick?”

Louis freezes. Shit. “Niall told me.”

Harry shakes his head. “Nuh-uh, I told him not to say shit to you about anything that involves my life after you.”

Louis just stands there. He licks his lips, lump forming in his throat as he tries to think of an explanation. Truth is there hadn’t been one. Well, there was one but Louis would really rather not tell Harry that he had facebook stalked him. It had only been one time. He and El were going through a rough patch. She had insisted on meeting his mom and sisters. Louis wasn’t entirely set on the idea. He hadn’t been home since the day he packed and left. He and El had both stayed in New York for breaks during school. Her family lived in Dallas while Louis’ lived in Houston. Neither had a decent paying job to save up for multiple tickets. El had surprised him with a trip for spring break their senior year. He wasn’t happy about being home. 

All the memories and feelings started coming back the moment his feet touched soil and he felt the humid heat of Texas wash over his face. There were memories of the two of them everywhere. The museum district where Harry had dragged him to see the Museum of Natural Science, and the Human Body Exhibit. Which for one was gross. They had gone and seen shows at The Hobby Center, Hairspray had been their first anniversary. The Hard Rock Cafe had been one of his favorite dates. The Galleria Mall, where his mom would only let them hang out if she was shopping. There was the park in the middle of their neighborhood where Louis and Harry had first met. The high school where they attended. Pictures that Louis had begged his mom to take down before he had gotten there. Though he’d forgotten the hidden pictures in his hope chest under his bed. 

He’d been searching for his old skateboard when he had found them. His heart and sunk at the sight of Harry’s smiling face next to his own. They had looked so happy together. Arms wrapped around each other at Prom and Homecoming. Harry before his curls had over taken his head, Him and Niall. Some with just Harry and Zayn. Pictures of all four of them. Some at Louis’ soccer games and Zayn’s Texas Livestock Show and Rodeo art exhibit. Niall when he’d first learned guitar and had carried it around with him everywhere. He’d waited till El was asleep curled up next to him on his tiny twin size mattress. He’d logged in on his phone and typed in Harry’s name. He’d been blocked tough. Louis thought about giving up and just going ahead to sleep. Instead he’s logged off and logged back in under Zayn’s profile. Suddenly thankful that Zayn used the same password for everything. He’d retyped Harry’s name and was greeted with the picture of Harry and some poofy haired man. 

They had seemed happy together. Though Louis thought the guy was closer to thirty than twenty. But to each his own, right? It didn’t matter anyway. Louis was with El and Harry was no longer his. That didn’t keep him from scrolling through pictures though. Harry had gone to school in California. Louis guessed that that was where he’d met Nick, as Louis had learned was the guy’s name. 

He wasn’t sure if the feeling in his stomach was nausea or jealousy. Probably both. Louis logged out and laid his phone on the bed side table. Harry had moved on and he had moved on. No sense in hanging on to the past. That was when Louis had decided that after school he and El would move back home. Zayn had agreed since Perrie was still in Texas, studying at Sam Houston State University. Liam had wanted a change of scenery as well and moved with them. 

“Well?” Harry’s voice brought Louis back to the forefront of their conversation. “Are you just going to stand there like a bump on a pickle?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “I saw it on Facebook.”

“How? You’re blocked.”

Louis raised a brow. “I’m aware, thanks for that by the way. Awesome of you. And I used Zayn’s.”

Harry paused to consider that for a second. “But why?”

Louis shrugged again. “El and I were in a weird situation. We were both back in Texas and at my house and there were memories of us all over the place. I needed to see how you were. A bit of closure I guess.”

“Closure?” Harry asks. “You’re the one that left not me babe.”

Louis turned away as the fountain show began. “I know.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Niall yelling.

“I’m tired bitches, let’s go to bed!”

They followed the other three into the hotel and into the elevator. The trudged into their room, Harry headed straight into the bathroom and Louis began to strip of his clothes. He crawled into bed and waited for Harry to come up beside him. He didn’t though and Louis could feel sleep heavy on his eyes. He tried to forget about the memories of their conversation and the way it made him feel. 

He really just wanted to stop feeling all together. Stop feeling bad for wanting Harry, to stop feeling guilty for marrying Eleanor, to stop feeling the unbelievable amount of regret for not telling Harry himself. He wished he could turn it all off. It would be easier, so much easier. 

He let his eyes close and sleep take over. 

When he woke Harry was nowhere to be seen. Louis tried not to let it bother him. It does though. He rubs his hand through his hair. He reached for his phone and saw a missed text from Zayn.

_Come for a walk with me when you wake?_

Louis typed out a quick reply and got up to get dressed.

He met Zayn in the lobby. Both wore beanies and light jackets. Zayn held a cup of Starbucks in each hand. He handed one to Louis and nodded in the direction of the exit.

“How did you sleep?” he asked.

Louis shrugged. “Okay I guess.”

Zayn nodded and took a slow sip. “So, Harry came by last night.”

That’s where he had gone, Louis thought. “Really? What’d he have to say?”

“Not a lot. Just asked if I knew that you had hacked into my facebook to spy on him.”

Louis stumbled before coughing on his tea. “He said what?”

“Well, not to spy on him. But to check in on him. Something about closure?”

Louis stopped and turned to look at Zayn. “I wasn’t checking in on him. I did want closure though. But this was years ago”

“Whatever. I just want to know how you’re doing with all of this.”

“I’m doing okay. I mean it’s not ideal.”

“True. And it can’t be easy. Not when you’re still madly in love with him.”

“It’s not by choice trust me.”

Zayn reaches over and puts a soft hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Do, you still want to go through with this wedding?”

“I have to go through with this wedding. Harry’s moved on and I’m trying to move on. This is what I need. I can be happy with Eleanor. It will be tough but I know it will happen. I’m halfway there already.”

“Okay, if this is what you really want then I’ll stand by you. Always.”

Louis nods, a sudden wave of affection flowing over him for the man standing by him. The man that’s always standing beside him.

“You know when you and Perrie finally tie the knot, let’s not have so much drama. Please.”

Zayn laughs. “No, problem dude.”

Louis punches Zayn’s arm lightly and smiles. If there was one thing he could always count on it was the trust and love that the two of then held in their friendship. And if that was the only relationship he truly cared for at the moment, well no one knows but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, there it is. Not a lot but. Kudos and Comments make me very happy!!! You all are the best!! Talk to me on twitter at @TeamTomlinson95 and tumblr at youcanchangemyticket !


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look a new chapter!! Hope you like it. I was hit with a bit of inspiration, and no not because of the "Breakup". Hope everyone his having a good Monday!! The song mentioned is one of my favorites!

Louis and Zayn returned to the hotel room after a rain cloud moved in over the dust covered plain. Louis rolled his eyes and pressed his head to the window of Zayn’s room. 

“We are in fucking Nevada for crying out loud. It has like an average of 4.2 inches of rain a year! Why the hell does it have to rain now?” Louis wines. He turns to Zayn, who is sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand. “What are you doing?”

“Perrie sent pictures from Miami.” He turns his phone so he can see Perrie and El, heads together with the beach behind them. 

“They look like they’re having fun.”

Zayn pulls his phone back and nods. “Have you talked to her?”

Louis shakes his head. “Figured I’d give her some space. Since after this weekend she’s stuck with me.”

Zayn makes to answer but is interrupted by a knock on the door. Louis opens it. He’s met face to face with a bright eyed Niall.

“Can I help you?”

“We are watching a movie in mine and Li’s room till the rain passes. You two up for it? Like old times?” 

Louis turned to look at Zayn, who seemed to be sending a snapchat to Perrie. 

“What do you say?”

“Sounds fun, beats sitting here and looking at your ugly mug.” Zayn answered.

They followed Niall across the hall and into his and Liam’s room. Liam was sitting on their bed remote in hand. Netflix was queued up and waiting. Louis kicked off his shoes and climbed in draping himself over Liam’s back.

“Li, I missed you!” he said.

Liam smirked and patted Louis’ hair. “You just saw me like twelve hours ago.”

“Yes, but that was twelve hours too long.” 

Zayn crawled in next to Louis and pulled him off of Liam and onto his own lap. His hand managed to find its way into Louis’ hair. 

“Give Li some breathing room will you.”

There was a knock on the bedroom door before it opened and Harry walked in. He kept his eyes away from Louis’ direction. He walked over and sat down on the other side of Liam. Niall joined in laying in between Liam’s legs. He pressed play and they settled in for the movie.

“I picked something I know we all will like,” Niall said.

Louis played with Zayn’s fingers until the familiar opening scene caught his attention. People hugging and crying in Heathrow airport in London. He squeezed Zayn’s fingers as Colin Firth’s voice filled his ears.

_Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrival's gate at Heathrow airport._

Louis’ heartbeat quickened. His mind raced, and for what felt like the five hundredth time this past week he was transported back to a different time. 

_General opinion started to make out that we're living in a world of hatred and greed. But I don't see that, seems to me that love is everywhere._

_Love is everywhere_ , Louis had thought. As he and Harry sat on the couch of his mother’s living room. Niall and Zayn were on the floor watching the movie too. The lights were off and it was almost too dark to see. The only light was from the widescreen TV in front of them. Harry’s hair was wild with curls that Louis has disturbed with his unyielding need to touch Harry’s locks.   
He could just make out Harry’s profile and the way his lips moved with every line said. He couldn’t help the smile that flittered across his face. He moved his hand to grasp the younger boy’s fingers. Harry turned toward him.

“You’re missing the movie.” he said, but squeezed Louis’ fingers anyways.

_Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends._

Louis had just stared at the boy. With his too pink lips and dimple that made Louis want to lick, and eyes that were evergreen and shined like a gem. Louis licked his lips and kept staring. They were face to face. Closer than Louis had realized and it would take only a slight movement forward to seal their lips together. 

“You’re staring.” Harry said, but he made no move to change positions.

Louis just nodded and leaned forward. Their lips met and it was perfect. The way Harry jumped at the feeling of Louis’ lips. The way he leaned into the touch and wrapped his big hands into Louis’s hair. The way he pulled himself onto Louis’ lap and sighed when Louis traced his bottom lip with his tongue. He pulled back and shook his head at Louis.

“Damn, it took you long enough.” Harry whispered. 

“Sorry, you know I’m slow sometimes.” Louis had giggled.

Harry nodded and kissed him again before leaning against Louis and turning back to the television. Louis had smiled and watched with him. From then on that movie was their go to movie. When they had wanted to be reminded of what they had. Harry would turn it on and they would cuddle up and watch. When they had been together longer it would usually accompany a blowjob or even sex. 

He remembered a time when Harry had been in the process of going down on him under the blankets and Harry’s mom had walked in the room while they were watching the movie. Louis had to kick Harry and lie to his mom at the same time. They had laughed about it later while they came down from their orgasm highs. 

_When the plane hit the Twin Tower, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from people on board were messages of hate or revenge. They are all messages of love._

“You know I’ve never actually seen this.” Liam said. 

Louis was pulled out of his memory by the sound of his voice. 

“You’ve been friends with Louis for how long and you’ve never seen this movie?” Niall asked looking at his boyfriend.

Liam shrugged, “I found it in his movie stack once and tried to watch it but he threw a fit and insisted that we watch Night of the Living Dead instead.”

Niall shook his head. “Seriously?”

Liam nodded. “Said it held memories that he didn’t want to relive.”

_If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around._

Louis tried to ignore the way Niall turned his stare on him. He could feel the judgement floating off the blonde boy’s body. He focused on the soft up and down movements of Zayn’s hands on his back. 

“Where are you going Haz?” Liam said.

Louis turned to see Harry standing up and heading for the door. Harry didn’t reply just opened the door and let it click shut behind him. 

Louis sat staring at the closed door. He couldn't believe that Harry had just left. Okay, so maybe what Liam said was true. He did say he couldn't handle what he would feel while watching it.

"Are you just going to sit there like a fucking idiot, or are you going to go and tell him why you wouldn't watch the movie." Zayn said, punching at Louis' shoulder.

Louis looked at him. He swallowed before sliding off the bed. He opened the door and headed to his and Harry's room. He paused outside. He could hear the sounds of guitar strings flitting out of the room. He listened closely as the unfamiliar melody brushed over his ears.

_Rain came pouring down when I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe and that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean_

Louis touched the door. Fingers skimming down as Harry's soft, low voice carried to him. His breath caught in his throat as the lyrics registered in his mind.

_There was nothing left to do and the butterflies turned to dust they covered my whole room so I punched a hole in the roof let the flood carry away all my pictures of you the water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing_

Louis listened to Harry launch into the verse from before. He leaned his forehead onto the door, hand grasping the door handle. He took a deep breath pushed down and stepped inside. Harry was sitting on the bed, guitar in hand. His fingers moved over the strings expertly. He was absolutely beautiful, with his hair pulled back and his head bent. The muscles in his back moved with each strum of Niall's guitar. He sounded so broken yet free when he sang. Louis' heart hurt listening.

"Did you write that?" Louis managed to ask.

Harry's fingers stilled but, he didn't face Louis.

"Yes, I wrote it in school with a friend. It was for a project."

"Who was the friend?" 

Harry turned to look at Louis then. His brow raised.

"Taylor," he answered. 

Louis went to sit next to him. "What's the name of the song?"

"Clean."

"Who's it about." 

He heard Harry scoff at the question. "Are you for real right now?"

Louis took a glance at him. "You wrote it with another person. It could be about anyone."

Harry shook his head. "What do you want Louis?" 

"To talk."

Harry shook his head again. "I don't want to talk."

"I don't care."

"When did you ever?"

Louis sucked in a breath because that wasn't fair. He always cared that's why he wrote the letter, that's why he hurts every time he even thinks about the boy with the curls. He cares so fucking much it kills him bit by bit.

"I've always cared."

Harry laughed, it was cold and humor less. "Could have fooled me."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I left, so what."

Harry stood up quick, jostling Louis. "So, what? So, what? Are you fucking crazy? I wake up one morning and the love of my fucking life is gone and all he has to say is so what!" He pokes Louis in the chest. "Fuck you Louis Tomlinson. Fuck you."

"It's not like I didn't leave you without any knowledge. You knew I was applying for early admission."

"Yes, but, you never told me you got in!"

"I couldn't!"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"Is it really Harry? Think about it," Louis said stepping closer. He had to strain a bit to look him in the eye. "If I had told you, I never would have gone. I'd have taken on fucking look at your stupid green eyes and seen how much you'd have wanted me to stay. Even though you wouldn't have said anything. I'd have seen it and I'd have gotten right back in bed with you and missed my flight."

Harry looked down at him. Those green eyes filled with something that Louis wasn't entirely sure he understood. 

"Do you love her?" Harry whispers. 

"Not like I should," Louis answers.

It happened before he even realized what was going on. Large hands found his hair and the faint taste of apple was on his tongue. Harry's lips were just as soft as he remembers, more skilled than they had been. Five years really had done him good. He found his own hands were already gripping Harry's t-shirt. 

Harry's hands moved down Louis' back and over his bum. Harry squeezed and lifted him up off the ground, turning and throwing Louis onto the bed like he was nothing. Harry's body covered Louis' and they still fit perfectly. Harry's hands made their way under Louis' shirt and he lifted it up over Louis' head. His mouth attaching to one of Louis' nipples. Five years and he still knew what got to him.  
Louis' hips bucked up off the bed, his fingers scratching at Harry's back, pulling the shirt up and off. Harry reached down between them and palmed at Louis' crotch. Mouth moving down Louis' chest. 

"Haz," Louis gasped when the younger boy’s mouth ghosted over his hard cock.

He felt Harry push up off of him, their eyes met for a second.

"Tell me you don't want me to," Harry whispers. "Tell me that it will hurt her and that you can't do that to her."

Louis sits up on his elbows. "And if I don’t?" 

"Then I'm going to fuck you into this mattress and there’s no going back."

Louis stares at him, stomach tight with anticipation. He leans up and kisses Harry. Softly, like they used to do.

"I," he says, "want you to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think?? You know me, Kudos, and Comments are my life! Have a good week and i'll update as soon as i can! i love you all!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! Hope everyone is having a fantastic Friday. Here's the next chapter hope you like it and it makes up for leaving you hanging last time!!! muah!

Louis woke to the bright light filtering in from the bedroom window. He felt a crick in his neck as he turned to look out the window. There was something heavy laying on top of him. He glanced down and was met with a head full of curls. It took him a moment to realize that it wasn’t a dream. That Harry really was laying on top of him. That they really did─

_Holy shit._ His mind flashed back.

Harry’s body pressed into his. Chest to chest. Louis’ finger dug into the cage tattoo on Harry’s side. Harry’s breath was hot on his neck as he sucked a bruise onto the delicate skin. Harry’s arm reached behind him and quickly flipped Louis over onto his stomach. His mouth seared the skin and left goose bumps in its wake. Louis’ fingers twisted in the sheets. Harry’s fingers were quick as they slipped down into the joggers Louis was wearing. He pulled them down, mouth following. 

Louis didn’t dare say a word for fear of breaking the spell that had been cast upon the two of them. He could feel Harry pressed against him. Jeans scratching at the exposed skin as Harry kissed his way back up. His lips found Louis’ again and Louis gasped at the feel of Harry’s tongue colliding with his own. He felt a coldness as Harry pushed off of him. He could hear Harry digging around in his bag. It was a second or two before he felt the coolness of Harry’s slick fingers. 

He bit his lips as Harry circled his rim once and slid a finger inside.

“Damn, you’re so tight,” Harry commented as he began to slide his finger in and out.

Louis hummed. “It’s been a while remember.” 

Harry began to pick up pace. Louis body shivering with the anticipation of finally getting to feel Harry after so long. Harry must have added another finger because Louis could feel the stretch of muscle begin to burn. 

“Okay, okay. I’m good,” Louis said just as Harry’s finger brushed against his prostate. 

Harry slipped his fingers out and wiped them on the bed before snatching up the condom he’d set by Louis’ head. He heard Harry tear it, a few seconds later he felt the tip of Harry’s dick enter the first ring of muscle. 

He willed his body to relax until he could feel Harry pressed up against his back. He gave Louis time to get adjusted and use- to being filled. When Louis grunted, giving the okay, Harry slowly began to move.

His thrust were slow at first but gained speed with each snap of hips. Louis had to keep his hands pressed against the head rest to keep from getting a concussion. Harry’s mouth sucked bruises on every inch of his body. Louis could feel the build in his stomach as he inched closer and closer to his orgasm. Harry thrust twice more and Louis was done. He reached behind him to grab a hold of Harry’s curls as a wave of endorphins washed over his body. Harry kept up the thrusts chasing his own orgasm. Breathes coming in hot puffs against Louis’ skin.

“Wait,” Louis whispered.

“What?” Harry said. “What’s wrong?” He slipped out and Louis flipped over to face him.

“I wanna see you.”

Harry stared at him for a moment. “You want to see me?” 

Louis reached out and rolled the condom off of Harry’s still hard dick. He wrapped his hand around Harry and began to give slow tugs. Harry gasped as his hand found Louis’ sweaty hair. Louis sped his pumping as the breaths Harry was taking became more labored. His fingers tightened in Louis hair and that just made Louis want to make him come all that much more. He bent down and wrapped his mouth around the tip. Teasing a bit before taking Harry down full. It felt a bit weird, stretching muscles that hadn’t been used in a while. He had to stop himself from gagging when Harry touched the back of his throat. Harry’s finger began to pull on his hair and Louis felt him spill down his throat. Louis pulled off with a pop. He looked at Harry and wiped at his mouth. Harry smiled and collapsed next to him.

The feel of Harry shifting in his sleep brought Louis out of his memory. His heart started beating faster as he took in the marks made on Harry’s skin. There were bruises that matched Louis’ mouth from their second round. 

Harry moved again. He lifted his head and Louis was met with his sleepy green eyes. His lips were swollen, be it from sleep or the night before, Louis wasn’t quite sure. He did the only thing that made any sense, he leaned down and attached his lips to Harry’s. He kissed back before pulling away.

“Morning breath.” He croaked.

Goosebumps rose on Louis’ arms at the sound. God he’d missed waking up to it so much. 

“I don’t give a shit.” He leaned back down and kissed him again. 

Harry pressed into it, hands winding into Louis’ hair. 

“Okay,” Louis said pulling back. “I lied, I do give a shit. “ He slapped Harry’s bare butt once before climbing out of bed. 

They brushed their teeth and got dressed. Harry wanted to walk around the strip again before they had to leave tomorrow and everything went back to the way it had become. Who was Louis to deny the boy that? Not when he had his hand wrapped around his own and the smell of Harry scattered about his skin. Not when his heart fluttered every time Harry smile at him. 

It was like he was eighteen all over again. Falling for the curly haired boy who lived down the street. The boy who would bring him bananas in the morning before school. And belted Summer of ’69 at his aunt’s wedding. The boy who was full of bad jokes and like to cuddle under fluffy blankets. Louis heart was so full and yet so broken.

He knew he still loved Harry. There was absolutely no fucking denying that. But he had this life planned with Eleanor. Harry had an entire life that Louis wasn’t a part of. Here in the comfort of their mutual friends they fit. Like they had before, but outside in the real world would they still be the same?

“You hungry?” Harry asked as they walked up to the diner. “See if Martha will whip us up some pancakes.”

Louis looked up at him. His smile was bright and Louis melted just a tiny bit. He nodded and Harry squeezed his hand. 

They grabbed a private booth in the back and waited for Martha to take their order. Harry held Louis’ hand under the table and Louis suddenly remembered before they had told their friends. Sneaking around behind their backs and hiding their hand holding.

“Back for more boys?” Martha said as she smiled down on them.

“Was hoping for some of those amazing pancakes.” Harry said flashing a dimpled smile. 

“No problem babe, anything else, juice, coffee?” she asked as she jotted down their order.

“Coffee,” they answered in unison. 

Louis caught Harry’s eye and smiled a small smile. Martha told them it would be ready in a bit before she bustled off to take care of another customer. 

“So,” Harry began. “What do we do after tomorrow?”

Louis shrugged. “To be honest I have no idea.” 

It was true he had absolutely no clue. _Fuck life._

“I just know I can’t go another five years without seeing you or being around you. And I know that’s selfish of me but it’s the truth.” 

Harry watched him for a second. “I don’t want to be without you either.”

“So, what are you proposing?”

Harry sat back in the booth and looked at Louis. “I’m proposing that we stay friends. Limit ourselves to how much time we spend together because I’m not being responsible for breaking up a marriage.”

“Probably should have thought about that before last night.” 

“Hey I asked you to tell me not to,” Harry said seriously.

Louis nodded. “I know, I know.”

“So, we’re friends?” Harry asks.

Louis nods. “Friends. Friends who can’t be alone together because they might tear each other’s clothes to shreds.”

Harry laughed at that. “True, true.”

Their food arrived at that point and they ate in silence. Their feet hooked under the table, and secret smiles on their lips.

They made their way back to the room around noon after a text from Liam prompted their return. Louis’ wasn’t sure he could convince Liam that he had not in fact killed Harry and thrown his body into concrete somewhere after he left the room last night.

The boys were waiting for them in the lobby when they made their way inside. Liam seemed satisfied that there seemed to be nothing wrong with Harry’s appearance. Louis wished the same could be said of the fragile state of his heart at the moment. 

Louis tried not to make eye contact with Zayn. Knowing what look would be on his face. The same one that he got every time he was right about something. He leaned into Harry’s touch when he put his arm around his shoulders. Niall raised his brow at them and Louis chose to ignore it. 

“So, Li wanted to check out early in the morning since our flight leaves at nine. He also wants to go to the Hard Rock for dinner tonight. Ya’ll cool with that?” Zayn said, pointedly looking at Louis.   
“Sure sounds fun.”

They spent the rest of the time walking around the strip. Watching as the day crowed slowly turned into the night crowed. Louis kept laughing as people kept coming up to him trying to hand him tickets with topless chicks on them. He’d blush, shake his head and pull Niall closer to him. 

Louis linked his arms with Zayn and Harry’s. A feeling of content falling over him as he watched Niall cackle when a persistent man tried to convince Liam to go to a show. Liam was trying to be nice to the man but it wasn’t working.

“I’m going to step in. Liam looks like he might explode.” Harry said. “Hey dude leave him alone! He said no!” 

The guy ignored Harry’s words.

“Seriously, he likes cock. Back the fuck off!” Harry said louder, pushing Liam out of the way.

“We have that too.” The guy said pulling another stack of cards out of his pocket. This time with naked guys on it. 

Harry shook his head no. “Not interested buddy. Find another guy to come see.”

He pushed Liam away in the other direction.

“Thanks,” Liam said when they were finally away from the man.

“No problem. You guys hungry now?”

They all gathered at a table and Zayn ordered a round of beers. They talked around their food, laughed too loud. Louis was hyperaware of Harry’s hand on his upper thigh. He looked around at his friends, his family. These were the most important people to him. 

“I just want to say thank you to you guys,” he began. “For this trip, and making this bachelor party fucking amazing. You guys are my favorite people in the world apart from the girls and Ernie. So, thank you for everything. Also.” He turned to Niall. “In case this isn’t already known, would you be a groomsman?”

The smile that broke across Niall’s face was blinding. He nodded twice. “Took you long enough you fucking twat.”

Louis laughed and hugged the blonde boy. 

The rest of the night went on without incident. No one got too drunk and every one took in that this was going to be the last time they would all be together before Louis was off with El. Louis watched as they cut up and enjoyed their last night in Vegas. 

Later that night when Louis was laid in Harry’s arms for the last time, his mind wandered. Tomorrow would be his last day as a single man. There’d be the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night and then the next morning it would all be over. He and Eleanor would say I do and he and Harry would just be a chapter in his life. They would still be friends, and they would still love each other. Only he’d have to sit back and watch Harry fall in love with another person and make a life with them. 

He hugged Harry a bit closer. 

“I love you.” He whispered. It was a moment before he realized what he had said. 

Harry didn’t answer and Louis wasn’t sure if he was okay with that. 

They laid there for a few minutes before Harry spoke. “How come you didn’t ask me?

“What do you mean?”

“How come you didn’t ask me to be a groomsmen?”

Louis sat up. “Did you want to be one?”

Harry sat up as well. “Not particularly no, but I’d still do it. For you I’d do it.”

Louis heart sunk. Harry would do it. For him, he’d stand there and watch Louis agree to marry a girl he didn’t love and didn’t want to be with all because of what? He loved Louis?

“Why would you do that for me?”

“It’s called accepting the truth Lou. You are marring her. I’d rather stand up there with you than be sitting out in the crowd watching from afar. So, ask me.”

Louis inhaled. “Will you be a groomsman?” 

“Yes.” Harry said simply. “Now, let’s get some sleep, you know Liam is going to have us up at the fucking crack of dawn.”

Louis smiled and cuddled back into the comfort of Harry’s arms. He could do this. He’d marry Eleanor and he’d be friends with Harry. This was going to work. This had to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's probably going to be about three more chapters before the epilogue! Let me know what you think! i love reading comments and seeing kudos! it keeps me going!! Have a happy and safe weekend!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people :) how's everybody's week going so far? Here's the next chapter, hope it is good for ya'll! It kind of got away from me. The song mentioned is probably one of my favorite by Taylor Swift (and we have a love hate relationship) but lets be honest this new cd has been pretty awesome... anyways. Finals are next week and it's going to be hell, so it might be a while for the next chapter.. Hope everyone enjoys this and has a good week!!  
> *All mistakes are my own, I'm horrible at grammar!!

As Harry had predicted Liam had them up bright and early checked out and on the way to the airport in no time. The ride to the airport was calm and a bit disconcerting. Louis held Harry’s hand in between them. Zayn the only one actually able to see them from his seat up front. 

They pulled up to their terminal and piled their bags on a push cart. Louis held on to Harry’s arm the whole way through bag check. The charm bracelet Harry had given him to give El sat heavily in his pocket, despite its delicate build. Louis rubbed at his arm and shuffled from foot to foot as they waited at their gate. He eventually excused himself and headed to the bathroom. A good splash of water on his face might make him feel less hot all over. 

He cupped a hand full and dipped his face in before glancing at the mirror. His hair was held back by a beanie and his eyes were a striking blue. Perhaps it was the idea of going home and having Harry there with him. Perhaps not. He tried not to let the thought of going back to Eleanor in a few hours invade his mind. It was true though. In four and a half hours he would be landing in Houston and Eleanor and Perrie would be waiting for them. He’d hug her and kiss her all the while still being able to feel and smell Harry all over.

The opening of the bathroom door brought him back from his thoughts. 

“You okay?” Harry asked, eyes meeting Louis’ in the mirror.

“Define okay?” 

Harry walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Louis said, turning in Harry’s arms so that he could look up at the boy. “You know I miss the days when we were the same height.”

Harry chuckled. “I don’t I love being able to wrap around you.” He paused. “And, I’m sorry that you’re feeling so bad.”

Louis nodded and patted Harry’s chest. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I messed this up.” He pointed between the two of them. “Me, not you. Besides if I hadn’t of wanted you, I’d have said no. And I didn’t, either time. So, you don’t get to feel bad for me.”

Harry smiles and bends down to kiss Louis once. “Okay. It’s going to suck not being able to kiss you again.” 

“Well, you better make it count now.” And with that he laced his fingers in Harry’s curls and pressed their lips together. 

The plane ride home was a bit depressing and exciting all at the same time. Depressing because the longer they were on the plane, the closer he got to being with Eleanor and giving Harry up all together. Louis didn't want to think about that. Not when Harry was pressed up against his side, laughing like a hyena at his jokes.

It was exciting because he and Harry actually got to talk about the past few years. Without worrying about pissing the other one off. Louis got to hear about the relationships that Harry had formed in L.A. Got to find out how he and Niall decided to put their music on YouTube. How much Harry had grown in his writing. 

More importantly Louis got to be with Harry like he had in the past. Something about that made Louis feel like crying and laughing at the same time. He had accepted that he and Harry would never be the same as they were. Yet here they sat, sharing a pair of headphones and giggling like school girls. 

He'd fallen asleep somewhere between listening to Madonna's Like a Prayer for the umpteenth time and Harry telling a very long story about a cat he'd rescued. Harry nudged Louis' head from where it was resting on his shoulder.

"We're landing. Buckle up," he whispered.

Louis nodded as his stomach began to churn. This was it, after this there would never be a Harry and Louis. Just Louis and Eleanor. He wasn't sure he was ready for that. He squeezed Harry's hand once.  
"I forgive you by the way." Harry said quietly. 

Louis looked at him questioningly. "For what."

"Earlier you said that you messed this up when you left. You looked so guilty. Even though there's nothing for you to be sorry for. You were right when you said that you wouldn't have gone if you had told me back then. So, I forgive you, for breaking my heart. You were always meant to do great things and working with kids in your theater class is where you belong." He took a deep breath. "Just don't ever feel sorry for doing the right thing for you. I let being hurt by you rule me for so long. It wasn't until we saw each other again that I understood. So, I forgive you for breaking my heart. You deserve to be happy. I feel as long as you still think that I harbor ill feelings for you, you won't truly be happy."

Louis just stared at him. He could barely recognize the fact that the plane was landing. All he could see and feel was Harry. Wonderful and beautiful, Harry. 

"I love you." Louis whispered. 

"I know you do." Was all Harry said. 

Louis nodded, oddly relieved that Harry didn't say it back. 

The walk back through Hobby Airport was shorter than Louis remembered. He held on to Harry's arm for most of the walk only letting go when they reached baggage claim and El and Perrie were waiting for them. 

All he registered was a flash of long brown hair and the weight of another body wrapping around his own. 

"Baby!" Eleanor yelped, as she kissed his face. 

He smiled and kissed her back "Hello, love." He didn't look at Harry. He needed to stay focused on El. 

"I missed you." She said hopping off of him. "That was too long to go without seeing each other."

He smiled at her. "Yes, but, after tomorrow I'm all yours."

He could feel Harry tense. Even though he was standing on the other side of Niall. 

"Forever."

"That's the idea right?" He kissed her forehead. "Common we have a rehearsal dinner to get to."

They all followed Perrie out to where the Navigator was parked. Liam and Niall left to go get Liam's truck from where they had left it. Promising that Liam knew how to get there to El’s parents.

“We will be right behind you. Promise.” Liam said, throwing an arm around Niall’s shoulders before kissing his forehead.

The ride to Dallas from Houston was three and a half hours of torture. Perrie drove while Eleanor sat up front. Her petite body swiveled to face the back seat. Louis sat in between Zayn and Harry. He was highly aware of Harry sitting so close, thighs touching, smell engulfing his senses. 

“So, mom and daddy are expecting us to be there around four.” Eleanor said, her iPhone in her slender hand. “Oh, the band can’t make it for the rehearsal tonight but they will be there tomorrow for the reception.”

“Well, what are we going to do about tonight?” Zayn asks, his sun glasses protecting his eyes from the Texas sun. “You guys still need to entertain everyone coming tonight right?”

“Glad you mentioned that,” El said. Her eyes turned to Harry and a broad smile spread across her glossy lips. “Perrie told me that you and Niall are quite the musicians.”

Louis’ heart dropped. No, no there was no way that he was going to let Harry preform at his wedding rehearsal. It was going to be hard enough watching the ceremony tomorrow, but to entertain the guests? Was Perrie serious in suggesting that? Knowing his and Harry’s past. 

“Um, El,” Louis began. He glanced at Perrie in the rear view mirror. Her brows were raised in surprise like she wasn’t expecting El to bring it up. She shook her head at him and mouthed “I didn’t,” at him. “Love, I really don’t think that is a good idea.”

Her perfect brows furrowed. “Well why not? We need entertainment for our guest don’t we?”

Louis paused for a second. “Yes but─”

“But what?” El, sad loudly. “If Harry is willing why can’t he?”

“Because─” he began again but was interrupted by Harry’s voice.

“We can do it,” he said.

Louis whipped his head around and shook his head. “Haz, no you don’t have to.”

Harry smiled and to anyone other than Louis it would have seemed normal. “It’s okay, lemme do this for you.”

The rest of the ride there was filled with Zayn and Harry filling El in on embarrassing stories from their childhood, with Perrie adding in occasionally. 

“You remember the time Louis had to skinny dip in the lake at Niall’s grandma’s house?” Perrie asked as she glanced behind her to switch lanes. 

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that ever again” Louis mumbled.

“No, you suggested that we never speak of it again. The rest of us never agreed dude,” Zayn pitched in.

“So, what happened?” El asked, her hand resting on Louis’ knee.

“Well, my dear,” Perrie started. “These lovely boys here used to like to play extreme truth or dare. And the little blonde pixie that is usually with them dared your lover boy to go skinny dipping.”

“I don’t get it what’s extreme about that?”

“The only way to get to the lake was through old man Rodgers back yard. He was like a vet or something in Vietnam. At night his yard was the only entrance we were able to get to without getting in trouble.” Perrie said. “Bit senile in his old age.”

“Anyways,” Zayn continued. “We were all on Grandma Horan’s back patio and I come up with the idea. So, we head to into his backyard and it is pitch black, right? Can’t see our own fingers in front of us.”

Zayn’s voice slips out as Louis is again transported back to that time. 

 

“Are you serious? Zayn, common that’s crazy. If Mr. Rodgers catches me in his yard he’ll skin me alive. Then hang my body out as a warning to others,” Louis says eyeing the dark house.  
It so dark out that all he can really see is the house’s silhouette. Much scarier than he had originally expected. Niall’s grandmother living out in the woods was beginning to seem a lot less exciting. 

There’s weeds and vines growing out around the rundown wooden home. It looked haunted to Louis. 

“Bit extreme don’t you think?” Niall says from behind him.

“Then you do it you bleached blond headed freak!” Louis retorts. 

Niall laughs. “Not a chance. Your dare love.”

Louis glances back and forth between Niall and Zayn. He lets his gaze flicker to Harry, whose leaning against the mailbox. 

He smiles, eyes bright in the dark night, dimple on full display. “Oh, common Lou. I believe in you. Where’s your sense of adventure?”

Louis keeps his stare for two heart beats and nods, because it’s Harry and how can he deny that boy anything. “Okay, fine. But if I die, Harry, you were always my favorite. Zayn, I’m haunting your ass. Same for you Ni.” And with that he turned on his heel.

_I hope I survive this._

He sneaks past the chain link fence that is just as over grown with weeds as the house. His converse hit the ground as he jumps down from the fence. He takes a look over his shoulder. The boys and Perrie all watching him. He gives them a two fingered salute and marches over to the pier. 

Vaguely he can hear the sound of a dog bark but he swallows his pride and keeps walking. He removes his shirt and someone wolf whistles, he can hear a slap and a whimper before someone else laughs. He flips them off and pulls his pants down. He’s suddenly remembering The Parent Trap, and laughs. 

_You can do this. It’s just water. Just water in a crazy dude’s backyard that could be filled with water moccasins. But whatever._

He takes a running start and lands with a splash. The water rushes up around him. Louis’ lungs begin to burn with the need to breathe. The water was warm around him, bubbles popping as he let a breath of air out. His bare toes touch slick, mushy, algae covered sand. His leg tensed as he pushed up back to the surface. 

It felt like ages before he was finally able to breathe air. Momentarily disoriented he can make out only three things. One, Mr. Rodgers’ Rottweiler was barking like mad. Two, the sound of Mr. Rodgers himself yelling out into the night about the little fuck in his backyard. And three, Harry standing on the pier, curls in his face bending down to grab Louis’ hand.

“Common, Mr. Rodgers is going to sick Roscoe on us. We need to get the hell up out of here.” Harry’s voice held an ounce of amusement.

He helped Louis out if the water. Goose bumps rose on his skin as the night air caressed his body. Harry held on to his hand as he bent down to grab his clothes. 

“Where’s Zayn, Ni and Pez?” Louis asked.

“High tailed out back to Grandma Horran’s.”

“Figures.” He looked over to where he had jumped the fence. Mr. Rodgers and Roscoe were standing by it looking out into the street. “Shit! There’s no way out.”

Harry glances around and slaps at Louis’ shoulder. “The shed, we can wait him out.”

Louis nods and follows Harry into the dark wooden building. It smells like wet dirt and rust. Tools are hanging on the walls and an old bicycle is hanging from the roof. Louis shivers as a breeze filters through the cracks in the walls. 

“You have my clothes right?” he asks.

Harry nods and tosses the bundle in his hands to Louis. He turns his head, so as not to watch Louis dress. Louis smirks.

“You act like you’ve never seen me naked before.”

“Just giving you your privacy.” 

Louis pulls his pants up and zips his zipper. “You sure that’s the only thing?”

Harry glances at him, eyes lingering on Louis’ chest. “What are you insinuating?”

“I’m insinuating Mr. Styles that I think you have hidden reasons to why you won’t look at me.” He moves closer to where Harry is standing. Chests almost touching.

Harry meets Louis’ eyes, steadily. “And what might that be.”

Louis runs a hand up Harry’s arm. He can feel the goose bumps rise after his touch. He runs his hand down Harry’s chest, fingers resting on the button to Harry’s jeans.

“That you really, really want to look at me.” He runs his finger along Harry’s zipper. “You’re just too sweet to be naughty.”

“I can be naughty,” Harry retorts.

Louis looks up at him. “Really because last time I checked, I was the one to kiss you.” He presses his finger harder into the fabric of Harry’s jeans. He can feel the outline of Harry’s boner and it excites him.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” 

Harry reaches down and picks Louis up while attaching their lips together. He walks them over to a work table covered in dust and dirt. Louis’ legs wrapped tightly around Harry’s waist. His body moving up and down, trying to gain friction from Harry’s lower stomach. Harry’s fingers dig into Louis bum when Louis’ wraps his tongue around Harry’s. He breaks away for a moment to catch his breath. 

“Okay, maybe you can be naughty.” 

Harry chuckles, deep and breathless. “Told you.”

“There you guys are!” Zayn’s voice comes from the door, “We’ve been looking everywhere for you two.”

Louis and Harry break away quickly and stare at Zayn. 

“Did I interrupt something?”

“No,” Louis answers hopping down from the table.

They follow Zayn out the door and back into the night. Louis can feel Harry’s arm around his shoulders before his voice is at his ear.

“Go on a date with me?”

Louis looks at him and smiles. “Fuck yeah,” he whispers.

 

“I can’t believe you had a neighbor named Mr. Rodgers.” Eleanor’s voice came. Ripping Louis from his memory.

“Yeah, he was an interesting fellow,” Perrie answered.

They arrived at Eleanor’s parent’s ranch at exactly four ten. Louis’ back hurt and his foot had been asleep for the better part of the last five minutes. Niall and Liam pull up a minute or so later.

“Why didn’t we just land in Dallas again?” Louis asked.

Zayn rubbed his shoulder. “Because you left Liam in charge of booking tickets.”

Louis nodded. “Right.”

They walked up the long drive to the house that was almost as big as Louis’ apartment building. 

“What the hell does her father do?” Harry asks, tilting his head up to look at the house. 

“He owns some corporation.” Zayn answers for Louis, arm wrapped around Perrie. 

Louis suddenly wishes again that they were really at their wedding. 

They make their way around the house and to the back garden. Eleanor’s mother is sitting there waiting for them. Tea cups surrounding her on the glass table. She looks like a senator’s wife in her elegant blushing pink dress and her sparkling jewelry. Her hair is perfectly styled in a curl, perfectly framing her face. 

“Ellie!” she calls standing to give her daughter a kiss on the cheek. “Louis!” 

“Mother, how are you?” Eleanor says taking a seat.

“I’m well.” She turns to look at everyone else. “You must be Louis’ groom’s men?”

Zayn nods. “Hello, I’m Zayn, Louis’ best man. This is Harry, Liam and Niall. You have a lovely home Mrs. Calder.”

“Pleasure, and thank you my dear. But please call me Catherine.” Her eyes glance down to where Niall is holding Liam’s hand. “I take it you are all very tiered after the flight and the drive.” 

Louis nods. “Yes ma’am. Knackered.”

She smiles at him. “Ellie, you and Perrie will be in the left wing. Jade and Jesy are already waiting. The wedding planner will be here in the morning to go over final details. Louis you and your boys will be in the right wing.”

They boys nods and turn to leave. Eleanor’s voice stopping them.

“Oh, mother. I almost forgot. We found someone to sing tonight at the rehearsal dinner. Harry and Niall.”

Louis sees Niall glance at Harry quickly surprise written across his face. 

“Niall and Harry sing?”

“Yes, we do.” Harry answers. 

The look on her face gave Louis the impression that she didn’t believe it.

“Is it a hobby or something?” she asks.

Louis wasn’t sure why her voice was a bit condescending. She had no clue who Niall or Harry even were. Who was she to judge them? Her own daughter was a theater major. Unless. His mind went to the look she had given Liam and Niall. Figures. 

“Job actually.” Niall pitched in.

“Interesting. Would you care to give us a taste?”

Louis spoke up at that time. “I can attest to them being excellent musicians.”

“Thank you Louis, but I think that I will be the judge of that.” She gestured to Niall’s guitar. “Come on. Show me what you have.”

Harry turned to Louis and raised his brow, Louis just shook his head. 

“You don’t have to prove anything.” He whispered.

Harry smiled. “Yeah but I want to. She’s got a stick up her ass.”

“So, it would seem. Hey, just so you know I don’t need this to know how good you two are.”

Harry just smiles and joins Niall who is standing in front of Catherine. He whispers something in Niall’s ear before saying out loud. “This is a song that means something to me, more so recently but still. Hope you like it.”

Niall began to strum the guitar and a soft calm sound escaped his fingertips as Harry began to sing.

_Clear blue water, high tide came and brought you in. And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will, Skies grew darker, currents swept you out again. And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone_

Harry’s voice was so pure and lovely. Louis couldn’t look away from him. Niall took the next verse

_In silent screams, In wildest dreams, I never dreamed of this_

Louis listened as Niall’s voice took over for Harry’s. They were brilliant together. His skills at guitar had only gotten better with time. Harry took the next verse and Louis’ heart sunk somewhere in his stomach.

_This love is good, this love is bad, This love is alive back from the dead, These hands had to let it go free, And this love came back to me_

Something in Louis broke in that instant. The way Harry’s voice held such pain and hurt. Louis did that to him. Then again it might not even be about him. 

_Tossing, turning, struggled through the night with someone new, And I could go on and on, on and on, Lantern burning, flickered in my mind for only you, But you're still gone, gone, gone_

Then again maybe it is.

_Been losing grip, Oh, sinking ships, You showed up just in time_

Louis glances down at the compass on his arm. The one that matched Harry’s ship. They had been so young when they had gotten them. Louis blinked back tears as Niall sang with Louis on the chorus.

_This love is good, this love is bad, This love is alive back from the dead, These hands had to let it go free, And this love came back to me_

Harry looked at Louis once, eyes meeting and that’s when Louis saw it. Saw the pain, the hurt, the love and loss. Louis wanted to reach out and card his fingers through his hair. He wanted to hold him and tell him that he would never leave him again. Not if he could help it. 

_This love left a permanent mark, love is glowing in the dark, These hands had to let it go free, And this love came back to m_

God, what did Louis do to this boy? How could he have not seen this? If this was just a ghost of what he was like after Louis first left, Louis understood why Niall was so cold. 

_This love, this love, this love, this love…_

Louis looked to Eleanor, who seemed to be just as enthralled with Harry and Niall and the rest of them. He turned to look at Zayn, who had seen Harry and Niall sing as much as Louis. He wasn’t watching them though. He was watching Louis. Their eyes communicating what their mouths couldn’t. He knew exactly who the song was about, and he knew just how much it was effecting Louis. Harry’s voice brought his attention back to the song.

_Your kiss, my cheek, I watched you leave, Your smile, my ghost, I fell to my knees, When you're young you just run, But you come back to what you need_

Come back to what you need. Louis needed Harry, he always needed Harry. Something that he was so afraid of admitting to, he was finally able to understand. He had been feeling so empty and cold lately and he didn’t understand why. Now he knew. It was Harry, it was always Harry. 

Louis watched and listened as the boys finished the song. He wanted so bad to reach out to Harry. He’d have to make the time to do it later when they were alone. 

“Well, boys. I think it’s safe to say you got the gig.”

Harry smiles, dimple showing before slapping Niall’s hand. He winked at Louis. 

Catherine stood before saying. “Rehearsal will begin at seven. You all go and get rested and clean up a bit.” 

They all nodded and turned to go to their respective wings. Eleanor kissed his cheek.

“See you in a few hours babe,” she whispered.

“See you.” 

He watched as she followed Perrie to the house. He turned to look at his boys. 

“I don’t know about you four but I could use a freaking nap.

Niall laughed and slapped his shoulder. “You and me both bro.”

They made their way up to the house. Louis tried to ignore Harry and how close he was but he couldn’t. He reached his pinkie out and locked it with his. Something that they used to do when they were younger. He ignored the flutter in his stomach and kept walking. He was getting married in less than twenty-four hours, and he was going to hold on to Harry for as long as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, that was it. You know me, I live and breathe kudos and comments. Let me know what you think!! Have a good night/day! thank you for reading!!!! you are all amazing! Come talk to me on [Tumblr](http://www.youcanchangemyticket.tumblr.com/)


	8. Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG!!! it has taken me way too long to get this out to you guys and for that i am absolutely sorry for! things with work are a bit crazy and then somehow everything i had written got deleted and i had to start all over on this chapter. nevertheless i did it and here it is!! i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! maybe it might take your mind off of all the drama going on in the fandom!!  
> As always mistakes are all mine and this is a work of fiction!!  
> This is the end ya'll so buckle up!! THANK YOU ALL SO SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME AND THIS STORY!!!!!  
> ENJOYYY!!!

Louis was in his respective room for less than an hour before there was a knock on his door. He sat up, blanket falling from his naked chest, he pulled it back and climbed out of the bed. He lifted his hand to the knob just as the person on the other side knocked again. 

“What do you want?” he said, half expecting to see Zayn standing there waiting to confront Louis about the past week in Vegas. What he wasn’t expecting was to see Harry standing in front of him. Pillow clutched in his arms and his chin resting on it. His hair was sleep rumpled, like he had been tossing and turning and his eyes were red. 

“Haz?” Louis asked, voice gentle. “What’s the matter?”

“Hi, Lou,” Harry says voice rough. “I couldn’t sleep, kinda got used to the feeling of someone next to me.” He shrugs. 

Louis hesitates for a second before opening the door to let the younger man inside. He isn’t sure that it’s a good idea, Eleanor could come in at any moment and find them. He knows that he shouldn’t let Harry stay, but damn it, there was no way Louis could say no to the boy. 

“C’mon get in.” 

Harry smiles at him and follows inside. They move to their respective sides and Louis curls around Harry tucking his arm around the bigger man. He can hear Harry sigh and snuggle closer. Louis lays there a few minutes before he can hear the soft snores escaping Harry’s mouth. He’s become so accustomed to the sound in the past week, more so than when they were younger. It’s almost calming to him, hearing and feeling Harry right there beside him. Close enough to touch, to feel, to kiss. 

Louis wants to kiss him, wants to suck bruises onto every inch of his porcelain skin. He wants to make him squirm and come apart beneath him just like he used to. Just like he did in the hotel room in Vegas. More importantly he wants Harry all to himself. He manages to fall asleep, face buried in the familiar curls he once called home. 

He wakes for a second time to knocks at his bedroom door. He rolls over, barely recognizing the fact that the warm body that was previously there now isn’t. He sits up and wipes sleep from his eyes before trudging his way over to the door. 

This time when he opens it he is greeted with the sight of Zayn at the door. His perfectly chiseled face scrunched up in confusion as he took in Louis’ bed head and rumpled clothing. 

“What the hell are you doing? Why aren’t you dressed?” Zayn says pushing past and stepping into the room. 

Louis turns his back to the door, eyebrow cocked. “What are you talking about?” 

Zayn rounds on him, black blazer and dark blue dress shirt clutched in his hand. “It’s six fifty Lou. Your rehearsal dinner starts in ten minutes.”

Louis gapes as he slaps his head with his hand. “Oh my god. I totally forgot.”

Zayn handed him the clothes, shoving him in the direction of the bathroom. “I don’t even want to know why the hell you forgot about the time of your own rehearsal dinner. I just need you to get dressed before El has my nuts.” He tosses a tie at Louis before turning to leave the room. 

Ten minutes and Louis is hopping downstairs to meet his groom’s men in the foyer. He stops when he reaches them. Liam has his arm slung around Niall, his grin brighter than the sun. Harry is standing with his arms placed behind his back. His black dress shirt is open just enough to reveal the smattering of tattoos on his collar bones. Louis smiles at him before looking at his best man. Zayn is standing with his arms crossed, his hair perfectly styled and Louis thinks he’s more of a Greek god than anything else. 

“Are you ready Prince Charming?” He asks, voice impatient. 

Louis nods, “Yeah, chill dude, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Let’s go.”

They make their way outside to the tables that are suddenly scattered all over the lawn of Eleanor’s family’s manor. Twinkle light are hung from trees and hand crafted lamps are set on each table, candles hidden inside. It looks like something out of a fantasy. Louis sees his sisters at one of the desert tables. Luckily tonight it’s just family and close friends joining them. He makes his way over to them suddenly happy to see something that hasn’t really changed. 

“You two look stunning.” Louis says, coming up behind his two younger sisters. 

They both turn to see Louis standing in front of them. Lottie is taller than Louis is in her heels and her flowing silver dress gives her the air of a supermodel. Her blonde hair is piled up on top of her head and Louis is at a loss for words. Fizzy looks just as beautiful, her dress is a black mini that shapes her body in just the right places. Her hair falls in ringlets around her face. Louis is floored by the way his sisters have grown up, at how beautiful and wonderful they are.

“Well if it isn’t Louis Tomlinson in the flesh.” Lottie says, leaning in to give her big brother a hug. 

“Don’t you look dapper Lou,” Fizzy says, hugging him next.

Louis smiles at them. “How are ya’ll? Where’s mom and Dan?” 

“Mom is off with Trisha and Perrie.” Fizzy answers, eating what Louis presumes is a brownie. “And Dan is somewhere with twins three and four.”

Louis nods. “I’ve got to go find El. I love you.” He says kissing them on the cheeks. 

He turns to walk away when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Lou” he turns to see Lottie behind him. 

“Yeah, Lots?”

“Did I see Harry Styles here tonight?”

Louis swallows and looks at his younger sister. He remembers late night conversations about a certain curly haired boy and a certain broken hearted big brother. She was the only one other than Zayn who knew just how much Harry tore Louis to shreds. Her blue eyes, so much like his own, stare back at him. 

“Yeah, you probably did.”

She crosses her arms, defensiveness radiating off of her. “I thought you two didn’t talk anymore,” she says. “I thought he didn’t want anything to do with you now?”

Louis flinches at the memory of Harry being so cold to him. “Yes, well we seem to have worked through that.”

She uncrosses her arms and places her hand on his shoulder. “Please be careful Lou. Don’t forget you’re getting married tomorrow.”

Louis smiles, pulling her hand from his shoulder and kisses it. “My sweet sister, I love you so much, but you need not worry about me. I’m a big boy now.” He bids her good night promising to find her later and catch up better. 

He makes his way around the yard talking to family members he hasn’t seen in years. One of Zayn’s sisters makes him dance with her for a bit as she tells him about the new boy she’s seeing. He enjoys getting to see people who he misses. Everyone has changed so much in the past years. He talks with his nana for a bit before being dragged away by El.

She’s wearing a simple back cocktail dress little sequences fluttering in the candle lights. Her parents were standing off to the side. Her mother dressed impeccably, Chanel dress fitting her thin body perfectly. El’s father looked just as intimidating as the first time Louis met him. An aura of importance and money dripping from his persona. 

“Mr. Calder,” Louis said, reaching out his hand for a shake. 

The older gentleman smiled at him, his impressive mustache bobbing with the movement. “Louis my boy, how are you?” His voice deep and powerful.

“I’m well, and you Catherine?” he kissed El’s mom on the cheek. 

She smiled. “Johnathan was just telling Ellie and me about the trip he’s planned for the two of you.”

Louis’ brow furrowed. “Trip?” He turned to look at Eleanor. “What trip?”

“I’ve taken the liberty of paying for the two of you to go to Montenegro. There’s this beautiful villa you will be staying in that’s right on the beach. Just perfect for a newlywed couple on their honeymoon.”

Louis stares at the man in front of him. “Montenegro? Villa? I’m sorry, sir, but El and I were going to spend our honeymoon in Barbados. I’ve already booked the flight and hotel.”

The older man laughs. It’s not a friendly laugh, more along the lines of insulting in a way. “That’s quite alright son. I’ll just reimburse you for your deposit. Bedsides you two will have more fun on this trip. You can go to Barbados any time we have a beach house there.” Johnathan said, waving his hand dismissively. 

Louis’ brows shot up and he bit back the snarky remark bubbling on his tongue. Instead he smiled tightly and tilted his head in thanks. “I assure you that won’t be necessary. El and I are capable of deciding where we want to spend _our_ honeymoon.” Before Johnathan could retort Louis turned to El. “You haven’t happened to have seen Harry have you?” 

The need to see the curly haired boy hit Louis faster that a sharpshooter hitting its mark. Eleanor shook her head. 

“Last time I saw him, he was coming outside with you and Z. Might want to go ask him.”

Louis smiled at her, before saying a goodbye to her parents. He found Zayn slow dancing with Perrie to the soft jazz playing from the hidden speakers. His lips were pressed to Perrie’s ear and if the small smile on Perrie’s lips was anything to go by, Louis would bet he was singing to her. He twirled her once and Louis had a sudden vision of her in a white dress and Zayn in a dashing tux. He shook his head and took the two strides to reach them. Perrie glanced at Louis her secret smile turned more inviting. She whispered in Zayn’s ear causing Zayn to turn and look at Louis. Louis waved his fingers, a blush blooming at the intrusion of their moment. Zayn smiled at him before kissing Perrie. 

“What’s the matter babe?” Zayn said. He grabbed two flutes of champagne off a passing waiter. He handed it to Louis who downed it. 

“El’s dad just told me he was giving me and El a trip to Montenegro for our honeymoon.” Louis said. 

“I thought you were going to Barbados.”

Louis laughed without humor. “Yeah, so did I. He even told me that he would reimburse me. Reimburse me for my own fucking honeymoon, so that we could go where he wants us to go. Who the hell does that?”

Zayn shook his head. “Yeah, I have nothing to say to that.”

Louis took the glass Zayn had in his hand and downed it as well. “You haven’t seen Harry have you?” 

Zayn shook his head. “No, not─” He was cut off by the sharp sound of a microphone being plugged in. 

They both turned their attention to the makeshift stage. Louis’ eyes zeroed in on the blond hair belonging to Niall and the undeniable curls belonging to Harry. He watched as Niall set up his guitar and settled down into the chair. He plucked a few cords before he twisted the tuning pegs. Harry stood beside him angling the microphone to his perfect plump lips. He whispered something to Niall, who smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Harry nodded and turned toward the mic.

“Good evening, for those of you who don’t know us, we’re Harry and Niall. Old friends of the groom.” The way he said friends made Louis’ heart stutter. “The lovely Eleanor asked if we would sing a few songs for you tonight. You’re welcome to dance and sing along if you know the words, but before we go into familiar territory, Niall and I would like to sing a song that we wrote a long time ago. Hope you like it.”

Louis listened to the opening chords of the song. Eyes trained on the brunet who seemed to light up on stage. Harry’s mouth opened and Louis melted. 

_I got a heart, And I got a soul, Believe me I will use them both, We made a start, Be it a false one, I know, Baby, I don't want to feel alone_

Louis closed his eyes. The familiar lyrics filtering through his ears as he was transported back to when they were kids. Harry’s voice, lulling him in inch by inch. Louis hanging on   
each word. Each word that he had helped Harry pen. 

_So kiss me where I lay down, My hands pressed to your cheeks, A long way from the playground_

He remembered sitting in Harry’s backyard, citronella candles lit, keeping the mosquitos from their relentless biting. Harry had laid down and Louis had hovered over him and Harry tried to come up with another line. Louis had bent down and kissed him once. Attempting to distract the boy. _‘That’s it’_ Harry had whispered before flipping Louis over and grabbing his pen and book. 

_I have loved you since we were 18, Long before we both thought the same thing, To be loved and to be in love, All I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you, I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18_

The sound of Niall’s voice brought Louis back to the present. He looked around him and everyone was quiet. Eyes on the two boys on stage, both lost in the music and attention. Louis turned and glanced at Zayn. Zayn smiled a sad smile. He knew the song too, they all had sung it together. But Zayn knew what it meant to Louis. What it meant to Harry and Louis. 

_We took a chance, God knows we tried, Yet all along, I knew we'd be fine_

Louis shook his head. They weren’t fine. He knew that. Harry knew that. It didn’t stop the hurt that spread through Louis’ bones. They weren’t fine. 

_So pour me a drink, oh, love, Let's split the night wide open and we'll see everything, We can livin' love in slow motion, motion, motion_

_So kiss me where I lay down, My hands pressed to your cheek, A long way from the playground_

Louis let Niall’s next two versus wash over him. Let the words settle on his skin, listening to the sound of Niall’s slight accent break through his lines. 

_I have loved you since we were 18, Long before we both thought the same thing, To be loved and to be in love, And all I could do is say that these arms were made for holding you, oh, And I wanna love like you made me feel when we were 18_

The sound of Niall and Harry’s voices blended together perfectly. Louis’ heart clinched and he tried to breathe through it. Some where he recognized the feeling of Zayn’s hand on his back. Rubbing soothing circles on his tense shoulders, hands firm and familiar. 

_When we were 18, Oh, Lord, when we were 18_

Louis breathed deep as Niall continued to sing by himself. Just one last bridge of the song.

_Kiss me where I lay down, My hands pressed to your cheeks, A long way from the playground_

The music slowed to a soft purr and the entire room was quiet, Louis felt himself move to the front of the stage. His and Harry’s eyes locked on each other, he smiled slowly. Louis’ heart beat like a humming birds wings, fast and steady. He opened his mouth as the all too familiar words flowed freely without concern.

_I have loved you since we were 18  
Long before we both thought the same thing_

Louis’ heart twisted for what felt like the millionth time that night as Harry smiled a beautiful smile. Louis glanced around at his family and soon to be family. Those who knew him best all had concerned expressions pinching their faces. Those who weren’t too familiar with him didn’t seem to notice. All thrilled at Louis joining in on the show. 

_To be loved and to be in love_

Harry and Niall finished the song to rounds of applause. Louis backed away from the stage. He snagged a bottle of expensive champagne before he wondered off to the pool on the other side of the manor. He popped the top and took a giant swig of the bubbly beverage. He swallowed before taking another. He could feel the alcohol pool in his empty stomach, he slipped off his shoes and rolled his pants up, letting his feet dangle in the water. His mind was blissfully clouded and the tightness in his chest was lifting slowly. His eyes drifted close, his head rolling back onto his neck.

“I can’t believe you remembered it.”

Louis opened his eyes, turning his head sideways. “You’re blurry.”

“And you’re drunk.” Harry smiled.

“No I’m not. You just need to stay still.” Louis said pointing his finger at Harry.

“Lou, I’m not moving.” He bent down removing his socks and shoes as he went placing his feet in the water next to Louis.

“You played our song.” Louis whispered. He could feel the effects of the alcohol fully kicking in. 

“That I did.”

Louis faced the water. Soft ripples flitted across the smooth surface as he moved his feet back and forth. His heart now slow and beating normal.

“Why?” Louis could feel the tears burning in the back of his throat. “Why tonight of all nights?”

Harry ran his fingers through Louis’ hair once, fingers curling around the back of his neck. “It’s my wedding gift to you. Lou, I will always love you and you will always love me. But you’ve made your choice and I will always wonder what could have been but I can’t dwell on the future or the past and neither can you. We will always be friends, I’ve wasted too much time being mad at you. I’m not about to throw the time I have with you away. That song represents us and what we built. It’s time to set it free.”

Louis leaned in, “I will always love you.” And he kissed Harry once on his cheek. 

They stayed at the pool drinking from the bottle, well Louis was drinking Harry merely watched. The last thing he really remembered is laying his head in Harry’s lap as he listened to Niall sing some rendition of Jason Maraz’s, _I’m Yours_. 

 

Louis woke to the blinding light streaming in from his bedroom window. He sat up in bed and rubbed the pounding spot at the base of his neck. He swiped his hand over his face once.

“Holy fuck, I’m getting married today.” He said to himself.

There was a knock at his door, loud and demanding. “LOUIS IF YOU DON’T GET THE FUCK UP, I AM GOING TO BEAT THIS DOOR DOWN AND STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!” Zayn’s voice boomed through the wooden door. 

Louis sighed, before he crawled out of bed. He opened the door to a bright eyed Zayn. Liam and Niall standing behind him. 

“Good morning.” Louis said flatly.

“Get dressed you fucker and meet us down stairs for breakfast. We have a wedding to get ready for.”

An hour later Louis was freshly showered and changed and sitting at the breakfast table with the guys. 

“Where’s El and Pez and the other girls?” Louis asked. 

“You’re kidding right?” Niall said. 

Louis raised his brow questioningly. 

“Bro, grooms not supposed to see the bride before the wedding remember,” Liam said as he shoveled pancakes into his mouth. 

“Right.”

He began to eat as the other boys chatted, his mind reeling at the fact that in mere hours he would be getting married. He shook his head. Scary thought that.   
“Has anyone seen Hazza?” Louis asked suddenly, noticing the absence of the curly haired boy.

“Lou,” Niall said. His usually bright smile gone from his face. “I’m sorry babe, he went home.”

Louis let the fork fall from his hand. “What do you mean he went home?”

Niall looked sad. “He went to Anne’s. He just needed more time than he originally thought. I’m sorry.”

Louis’ heart sunk into his chest. No, he was supposed to be here. Louis couldn’t do it without him.

“Oh,” was all he could get out.

 

Louis stared at the clock. Ten minutes. He had ten minutes before he was supposed to walk down the aisle. He checked his phone one last time, nothing. There was another knock at his door this time quieter. Zayn’s perfectly styled hair entered the room before his body did. Louis inhaled once, the familiar smell of Zayn’s aftershave drifted through his nose.

“You ready?” he asked.

Louis smiled softly and shrugged. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Louis joined Zayn, Liam and Niall in the hall. He looked at each one of them. His best friends, minus one. He loved them so much. They each wore matching lavender vest and bowties, white dress shirt peeking out from underneath, all tied together with a sharp black tux jacket.

“C’mon dude let’s go get you hitched,” Niall said wrapping his arm around Louis shoulders.

They all stepped outside, and where the dinner was held last night now housed a giant tent, fit for at least two hundred people. Liam whistled as they entered inside. Lottie was helping to sit people in their right seats, Louis’ mom talked with family. Perrie was with the other brides maids, her golden hair piled beautifully on top of her head. Her lavender dress made her look like a Greek goddess. Louis felt Zayn beside him stiffen.

“God, she looks beautiful,” Zayn whispered.

“That my brother she does,” Louis said. 

The boys all disbursed in different directions. Louis stayed where he was, taking in the sight before him. There seemed to be an endless amount of lavender flowers lining the aisle. He felt like he was in a fairy tale. Being under the tent kept the wind at bay. Louis still felt a bit stuffy in his tux. His family weaved in and out of the space. He saw the youngest twins talking animatedly with a great aunt that Louis didn’t even remember inviting. Lottie caught his eye as she helped one of El’s cousins to a seat. She winked at him. He smiled, it was going to be okay. Everything would be perfectly fine. He just had to believe in the greater powers a large. 

Johnathan and the pastor came up to him three minutes till four. Both wore tuxedos, Johnathan’s was just a bit more pristine than the pastors. He shook both men’s hands, palms just slightly damp. 

“You ready son?” Johnathan asks. His hazel eyes scanned over Louis once. 

Louis’ shoulders tensed up for a split second and he had to mentally calm himself. He nodded once.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

Johnathan gestures to the alter in the middle of the tent. Louis followed behind them, his heart surprisingly steady clenched once. This was it, no going back now. He stood in the center of the tent, the pastor right beside him. Johnathan squeezed his shoulder.

“Breathe son. I’m going to go get her now. Just relax, it’s going to be okay.” 

Louis nodded again. Johnathan turned on his heel and motioned for the bridesmaids and grooms men to follow him. Before he knew it the intro to Ave Maria was staring and everyone turned to the opening of the tent. 

The first to enter the mass was Eleanor’s baby cousin Savanna. Her dark hair was pulled back and her tiny little hands threw flowers as she stumbled down the aisle. She stopped in front of Louis, who bent down and kissed her cheek before showing her where her mom was sitting. Next walked in Liam and Leigh-Anne, her dress was slightly different than Perrie’s but still the same lavender color. Liam went to stand the farthest away from Louis as Leigh mirrored him on the other side. The same process happened when Niall walked in with Jesy, and Zayn with Jade. Perrie walked in by herself, a smile on her lips. Louis turned to look at Zayn. All of his attention was focused on the beautiful girl in front of him. Louis could see the love and adoration on his face, radiating off of his body. It was tangible and electric. That was what love looked like. Louis, never looked at El the way Zayn was looking at Perrie. 

The music changed and the traditional wedding march drifted through the speakers. Louis straightened and focused his attention to where El would soon be walking. He watched as she made her way inside. His breath hitched just slightly. She was truly stunning, there was no denying that. She belonged on a runway somewhere in Milan. Her Vera Wang dress fit her to perfection. Strapless and flowing. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a high pony tail, a slight bump on top, her curls tumbled down behind her. Louis felt himself smile. 

He could do this. She was wonderful and beautiful. They got along amazing and she understood him. They were the best of friends, and he did love her. He could learn to love her the way she deserved. He _would_ love her the way she deserved.

Johnathan lifted her hand and placed it in Louis’. He pulled her to stand in front of him. There were already tears in her eyes and her smile was blinding. 

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hey,” he whispered back.

The music stopped and everyone turned to face front. Louis held on to both of Eleanor’s hands. The pastor stepped closer to them and began his intro. 

“We are gathered here today to join these two souls in matrimony,” he said gesturing to the couple in front of him. “They have both elected to read their own vows. So, Eleanor, if you would begin.”

She smiled at him before taking a deep breath and focused on Louis. “Lou, these past few years have been the best of my life. You are amazing and I love you with every fiber of my being. You are my everything. I would do anything to make you happy. You are my rock, my shelter and my world. Without you I’m not complete.” Her voice cracked a bit.

Louis’ heart clenched and he wanted to run. Run far away and never look back. “El, you are sunshine on a dreary day. When I am with you there is nothing that can’t stop us. You are one of my best friends. I was in a dark place when we met and you brought me back from that place. I promise to always be there for you and to love you to the best of my abilities.”

Louis’ heart spluttered at his less than satisfactory vow. He just didn’t want to tell her a bunch of lies that he could never take back. He did feel invincible when he was with her, but he also felt that way with Liam and Zayn. She did bring him back from his despair and he would be forever thankful. He would always be there for her, no matter what. She deserved that and he knew it. He loved her. 

“If the best man and maid of honor would give the rings to our couple. We will start with the exchanging of the rings.” 

Louis turned to Zayn who handed him a silver band just as El turned to Perrie. They both turned back to the pastor. 

He smiled. “If anyone here feels like this couple should not be bound in matrimony have them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Louis takes a deep breath and glanced out at the crowd of friends and family. Something in him wanted one of them to stand up and say something, anything. No one seemed to inclined to stand up and protest. They knew what he wanted. He looked back at Eleanor, who had a concerned expression. It’s not like he was really expecting anyone to say anything. Zayn and Perrie would never step that far over the line no matter how much they might know. He smiled at her and shook his head slightly, telling her not to worry.

“Alright by the pow─” 

“Wait! I object! I whole heartedly object!”

Louis’ heart started beating so fast he thought his chest would explode. There were gasps and yells of outrage. Louis turned to look at the entrance of the tent. His heart stopped beating and sunk somewhere below his ribs. 

“I object,” Harry said, voice strong and loud. His hands were clenched around a faded piece of paper. “I object.”

Louis let go of Eleanor’s hand, he walked closer to where Harry was standing. 

“What do you mean you object?” Louis said, voice horse and thick.

He could scarcely feel Eleanor grasping at his hands. Her whispered, ‘Louis’ drowned out by the sound of his own heart. He pulled his hands away from her reach. 

Harry’s chest heaved as if he had been running a marathon. His hair was tied up on top of his head and the t-shirt he wore clung to his skin. His eyes blazed with a determination that Louis hadn’t seen in a while.

“You wrote a letter?” Harry asked. 

Louis’ eyes widened. “You objected my marriage because you wanted to know if I wrote a letter?” Louis voice rose. “What does it matter? Yes I wrote a letter, can I get back to my wedding?”

Harry just stood there, fist raised still holding the piece of paper. “Did you mean it?”

“Did I mean what?” 

Harry stepped closer to Louis. Chests almost touching, he placed his hand with the paper to Louis’ chest. Louis looked down and saw the opening lines of the letter.

_Dear Hazza, it’s killing me to write you this. I’m literally watching you sleep and all I want to do is crawl right back in bed with you but, I can’t and it hurts._

“I never got it.” Harry whispers. “It must have gotten knocked off by the cat before I woke up. Did you mean it?”

Louis looked up into the green eyes he loved so much. “All of it, I meant all of it.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when he felt soft lips on his own. Harry’s tongue teasing at his bottom lip. Louis granted him access, his hands wrapping themselves in Harry’s hair, tugging slightly. 

“I love you, I am so sorry. I didn’t know. If I had known, I-“ 

Louis cut him off with another kiss. “Shhh, no don’t beat yourself up.” 

There was a moment of silence as everyone around them took in the scene. 

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Johnathan’s voice boomed. 

Louis couldn’t care less about the man talking. All he cared about in that moment was the feel of Harry’s lips on his own. The feel of Harry’s body underneath his fingertips. Harry’s hand tightened in Louis’ shirt. For a brief second Louis was entirely happy. The sharp shooting pain that was suddenly running up his cheek brought him out of his haze.   
“OW! WHAT THE FUCK!” he yelled, hand coming to clutch his cheek. He turned to see an angry faced Johnathan looking at him.

“How dare you. How dare you stand there pretending to love my daughter? When all this time you’ve just been hiding the fact that you’re just a fag?” Johnathan spewed, words harsh and fast.

Louis felt another hit to his jaw and the shrill yell of Eleanor’s voice screaming at her father. He hit Louis one more time.

“I let it slide when you brought those two,” Johnathan said. Head tilting in Liam and Niall’s direction. “Because they were your groom’s mem. But all this time you’ve been lying to everyone. Telling my baby girl you loved her and that you wanted to marry her.” He lifted his had once more aiming to strike. 

Louis saw Liam reach out and grab Johnathan’s shoulder and wrist in a hold, knocking the older man to his knees. He could feel the blood trickling down his lip. The murmurs of everyone around him was a constant buzz in his ear.

“Daddy,” Eleanor said. “Stand up you’re making a fool of yourself. Your baby girl already knew.”

“You what?” Johnathan asked, as he stood up shaking Liam off of him. 

She sighed. “Are you kidding me? I’ve known all along. I found pictures of him and Harry at Perrie’s from when they were kids. I asked her if he was ever with guys. She said yeah but that he was also with girls. So, I figured what the hell. Not my place to judge.” 

Louis accepted the napkin that Zayn handed him. He whipped the blood from his lip.

“That still doesn’t change what he is. He’s a fag and he brought more of _them_ into our home. They are disgusting and deserve much worse than what he got.”

Eleanor opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Liam’s arm snapping out in front of him. Johnathan’s head swiped to the side and Louis could hear the sound of bone crunching bone. 

“You really need to shut the fuck up.” Liam said. “You have no idea who we even are. How dare you say things that are unnecessary just because you’re some bigoted idiot. You are what’s wrong with progress in this country. So, just stop talking while you still have some dignity left.”

Eleanor reached down to help her father up. “I think it best if you leave,” she said gesturing to the opening. 

“Eleanor don’t do this.” Her mother said, voice coming out cold. 

“You too mother. Don’t think I didn’t hear the things you were whispering when Liam and Niall weren’t around. So, please if you don’t mind, leave me alone. These are my friends and this is my wedding. Bedsides it’s not like you paid for anything. Zayn and Liam helped us, you’re broke and you know it, so stop while you both have a bit of dignity left. I don’t have to stand here and listen to this, so please go.”

Louis held on to Harry as Eleanor’s parents walked past them. Johnathan’s glare boring into him as he and his wife passed. His mind was racing. Eleanor knew.

“You knew all along?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, I just figured you’d tell me when you felt ready.”

Louis made to answer but was cut off.

“Well what the hell are we going to do now,” Niall said placing his hand of Louis’ shoulder. “We have everything set up for a wedding and no one to get married.”

Louis paused for a second. He glanced to his side where Zayn must have moved during the scuffle. Their eyes met for just a second.

“Now, or never. What do you say?” Louis asked.

Zayn’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

There was a loud chorus of ‘yes’ as everyone around them pushed him towards Perrie. Her eyes widened as he stumbled to her. He straightened his jacket and glanced over his shoulder once. Louis nodded at him.

Zayn dropped to one knee. “Perrie Louise Edwards, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife, right here, right now?”

There was a moment of shock before Perrie nodded her head so fast Louis felt dizzy watching her. Zayn picked her up and twirled her before setting her down. 

“Wait, there’s something else.” he turned to Louis. “Be my best man?” He asked, holding his hand out to Louis.

Louis grasped it and pulled him to his chest. “Like you’d even have to ask.”

There was a flurry of people running around as Perrie and Zayn switched places with Lou and El. This time they all stood together. Harry grasping Louis’ hand tightly as they watched Zayn and Perrie finally marry. 

Louis felt the tears slip down his face as he listened to the things that his two best friends had to say about each other. Knowing someone for a decade meant that they had seen a lot of troubles. They had gone through so much together and yet they had managed to get through it all. Not entirely spotless but stronger in the end. Harry squeezed his hand as Zayn and Perrie said ‘I do’. 

They cheered as Zayn dipped Perrie, her laugh infectious. Louis and El insisted that everyone stay and eat the food meant for the reception, which was held out on the lawn. People had been setting up while the wedding was going on. The band actually showing up just in time for everyone to break out the champagne and beer. Louis gave an impromptu best man speech that caused Zayn to glare and smile at the same time. He slow danced with Harry and Perrie. He tried to slow dance with Zayn, but the younger boy threatened bodily harm. Instead Louis watched as he and Perrie flitted around the dance floor. 

Louis found Eleanor sitting on an abandoned chair watching the two dance. He tapped her shoulder.

“Wanna dance?”

She smiled at him slightly before taking his out stretched hand. He pulled her close.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

She nodded, her eyes focused on something behind Louis’ head. “You know, I always knew you loved me. But, there was something missing. From the very beginning I knew it, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Then Harry showed up at the party and you started acting different. It was like we were in college all over again. The pictures that Perrie had were telling in a way. Anyone that didn’t know you wouldn’t really see it. They would see two boys who were really close, but I do know you and I could see it. The love and adoration on your face just looking at him. That’s why I asked Pez if you were with guys. You never really told me about what had happened before we met, but when I saw the pictures I knew.” She looked at him then. “But then you proposed and we were suddenly planning a wedding and I forgot all about it. Until the engagement party. I thought maybe you would work through what ever went on while you were in Vegas and I guess you did. I was just waiting for you to realize that you weren’t going to be fully happy. That’s why I asked him to sing at the wedding. I was trying to give you a reason to tell me, but you went for it. Then the song last night and you getting drunk, it all kind of made sense. I was willing to marry you because we both know we could be good together and we both love each other so much. But you deserve to love someone deeply and I deserve to be loved by someone just as much. So, I’m not mad Lou, and I will always love you. You’re one of my best friends, nothing will ever change that.”

Louis swallowed at the lump in his throat, he pulled her close to him. “God, you are so perceptive and I love you.” He pulled back. “You’re right. Harry is and always has been what’s kept me back. I was finally moving on and seeing myself with someone else and I was happy. Not fully happy, but still happy as anyone could really hope to be. And then he came back into my life and at first it was hell. Because there were all these unresolved feelings in my head and I was so conflicted and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him and he actually wanted me too. I thought he hated me, but we worked it out. I was just trying to figure out what to do. I wanted to be with you, but at the same time I wanted him too. There was just something about him that kept calling me. Now I know what it was.”

She nodded. “I have something else to confess to you.” She stopped their dancing. “I may have tried to sleep with someone while on Miami Beach. I hadn’t talked to you in two days and my mind kept going to the wedding and Harry and I was confused and drunk and Perrie stopped me. I just couldn’t let this end without being completely honest with you.”

Louis stepped back, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Um, I did sleep with Harry while we were in Vegas.”

The look on El’s face is a mixture between acceptance and hurt. “I kind of figured as much. Still hurts to know you cheated on me and weren’t going to say anything. Fucked up really. But I think I kind of knew. It was really different when you got off the plane.”

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry.” Louis pulled her back in.

“I feel like I should be royally pissed at you, but strangely I’m not.”

“You can always slap me.”

He felt her chuckle. “Tempting.” They were good, even with all the lying and craziness, they were still good.

The party seemed to go on well into the morning. Louis and Harry opting to go to a hotel rather than stay at the manor. Louis left Liam and Niall piled on top of each other on the makeshift dance floor where they passed out. El, insisted that Perrie and Zayn take the trip to Montenegro that her father had bought for them with what money he still had. Louis insisted that El take the trip to the Bahamas with Jade and Jesy. Cash the first class tickets for three coach ones. All in all the night ended on a high note.

Louis and Harry left soon after the other guests did. He and Harry opting to get a hotel than stay at the manor. The car ride over was pretty quiet, but Louis could feel the sexual tension gaining as Harry’s hand moved up and down his leg, his mouth attached to his neck. Louis tried to focus on driving but it was proving to be quite difficult.

“I love you, so much Louis Tomlinson. I never want to go another day without you.” Harry whispered in to Louis’ shoulder sometime later as Louis pounded into him. 

Sheets were tangled around their naked bodies the only sounds in the room is their breathing and skin on skin contact. Harry’s muscles tightening each time Louis hit his spot.

“I love you too Harry Styles,” Louis said breathless as he squeezes at Harry’s hip. His orgasm ripping through his body like nothing before. 

Later that night while Harry slept in Louis’ arms, he reached down and pulled the letter from Harry’s jeans pocket.

_Dear Hazza, it’s killing me to write you this. I’m literally watching you sleep and all I want to do is crawl right back in bed with you but, I can’t and it hurts. So, I’m doing the only thing I know how to do well and that’s write. Here we go. I got into the program early. They only choose a hand full of people to take an early acceptance and I got in Haz! Me! Can you believe it? There’s only one problem, it’s in New York. I don’t want to leave without you. There’s still another year before you even graduate and I don’t know if I can wait that long. I can’t even imagine the thought of not seeing your face every single day. But we both know I have to. It’s a once in a life time opportunity. But you’re a once in a life time boy. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up to your morning breath and go to sleep to the sounds of your soft snores that you swear you don’t do. I want to get a house and start a family with you. Three kids, two dogs, one cat like we always planned. That’s what I want out of life, that and to study theater and to teach. This is the chance, I have to take it, but I refuse to let you go to do it. I’ll be gone when you wake and for that I am absolutely sorry for, but I have a proposition for you. Promise me that you will come with me. That once you graduate that it will be us against the world. That it will always be us. By then I’ll have an apartment and we can finally start the life we really want. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I understand you might be mad once you find out, but don’t be mad for long. You know I hate when you’re mad at me!! Call me when you get this. Love always. Lou._

Louis folded the paper back up and put it in Harry’s pocket. It might have taken longer than expected, but he finally got it. He snuggled closer to Harry in the bed. He kissed his shoulder smiling when he heard the content sigh escape Harry’s plush mouth. _I am so in love with you_. Louis closed his eyes ready for the first day of the rest of their lives. 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm debating on whether or not to do an epilogue. i have a few ideas but none of them are sticking out to me. so if there is anything you might want to see in the epilogue let me know on [Tumblr](http://www.youcanchangemyticket.tumblr.com/) just inbox me on your idea and i'll see if i can give you something :)   
> Kudos and comments literally make my day! i also hope you liked it as much as i loved witting it! Thank You All So Much!!!!!! It meas so so much to me to have you all read this story!! Till next time!!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are my life source! Thank you for reading!! Peace and Love!


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